Far from home|KTH

To us

Jin was walking home after yet another long day of work. These walks used to be blissful, filled with excitement to go home and see Emma. These days it was filled with anxiety and with wondering what version of Emma he would be met with.

Most days she was down, her eyes all cried out although she tried to hide it. She was never good at hiding her feelings, she wore her heart on her sleeve, always had. He loved that about her.

He opened the door to their appartement.

"Babe, I'm h..". He got quiet, ending his sentence in the middle.

Emma was sitting on the couch, the hallway filled with her packed bags. She looked at him with a sad smile on her face.

"Hey Jin. Please come and sit down with me for a moment", she asked as nicely as she could.

The short walk to the couch felt like it was in slow motion, his heart beating out of his chest. He sat down slowly, looking at her with anticipation.

She reached for his hand and put it in her lap, storking it lovingly.

"Jin. What I'm about to say isn't easy at all", she began.

He nodded knowing where she was going with this already.

"I know", he said.

She looked at him with a surprised expression on her face.

"I know things have not been easy for you lately. You are a different person since you came home. Not bad, just different.  I'm guessing that everything feels different for you", he continued.

She was sick of crying by now but tears streamed down her cheek by his words.

"Jin...you have been the best friend a girl could ever wish for, the best supportive partner. I loved you for eight years, almost nine...but I'm not in love with you anymore and I don't think you are in love with me either. We just got comfortable at some point", she replied, smiling through her tears.

"I know...", he replied. "But this is hard for me, just as it is for you. It is not easy to lose one's best friend".

He was always strong, hiding his emotions well. But today was different, his guard was down and she could see some real deep emotions in him for the first time in a long time.

"Emma, I will be okay. I will miss you but I will say thank you, for everything you gave me in these years and for all the happy memories and for teaching me how to love. I just wish for you to find whatever it is you are looking for. May you find peace one day", he said, pulling her hand to his plump lips and kissing it. "I will always be your friend and your biggest cheerleader".

Breaking down was her new normal state. He embraced her with his tall arms and wide chest, stroking her back slowly, comforting her.

"You shouldn't be the one comforting me right now. It's not fair", she cried into his shirt.

"I know. It's not fair but it is right", he replied softly.

"I've never met anyone this understanding in my life. What's wrong with me seriously? I should just be happy here with you...", she said.

"But you are not...your heart wants what it wants. Follow it", he said with a soft chuckle. "Life is not meant to be lived half heartedly, go live it fully. I will always cheer you on and root for you. If you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me".

Emma hit his chest lightly, piercing him with her eyes.

"Stop it Jin. You are making me feel worse".

He laughed his wonderful and deep laughter, shaking his head at her.

"You can't make me to be the bad guy, because I am not and nor will I ever be", he replied.

"I know, I know", she said with a smile, staring at his deep eyes.

"You know what...", he said and got up from the couch.

Emma followed him with her gaze on his way to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of champagne and brought two glasses with him back to her.

He poured the champagne into the glasses and offered her one. She would never in her life stop being surprised by this mans heart. He was such a great man inside and out, and she was cursing herself for not being able to stay with him.

"Don't be sad, we shouldn't be sad. We are not parting as enemies, we are parting as friends. We should toast to eight wonderful years with each other, where we grew up and lived through amazing experiences with each other. We should celebrate that. So Emma, cheers!", he said with his signature smile.

"Jesus...you are unbelievable", she replied with a laugh and raised the glass. "Cheers Jin! I wish nothing but the best for you!".

"The same to you! I hope that you will find whatever it is you are looking for one day", he replied. "But tell me one thing...".

"Anything".

"Is he the reason?".

Emma looked at him for a while, pondering on what to reply.

"Ahh...the short answer is no. This started the second I landed in LA, before he even came into the picture. I just feel like I got lost somewhere during these eight years, losing myself in a way. Now I got to find her and figure out what it is she want...but I was the best version of myself around him, he brings that out in me", she replied.

This was the truth. Tae was a part of it, but it wasn't his fault, he wasn't the reason, he was just the one making her realise things.

"Fair enough", he replied with a smile." And I don't need details. I just hope that if that day comes, he makes you happy, that you make each other happy. If that is what you want".

She nodded and hugged him again.

"Be well Jin. This is not goodbye, it's just a new beginning", she said.

"I know", he said, tightening his grip of her. "Do you need help with the bags?".

"Yeah I do. Thank you".

They both got up and walked towards the door. Emma took a good look at the apartment that had been her home for almost nine years. So many memories had been made here with him, most of them happy.

"Ready?", he asked.

"Ready", she replied and closed the door behind her.