Far from home|KTH

Dizzy

Laughter.

Once again there was heartfelt , honest, truthfully happy laughter in the air tonight. It had become the signature sound of the trip.

The evening was young and the vibe was relaxed and joyful at the exquisite villa in the warm LA night. After another full week of hard work they all deserved this chill party at Sara's house. This time they all had gotten to know each other well and the conversation was flowing between them over the music in the background.

Emma observed her surroundings with a relaxed smile on her face. She truly loved these kind of chill evenings with good company, great food and easy drinks.

She poured another glass of Prosecco down her throat, the bubbles feeling like delightful giggle in her gut. The way the stress of the week just ran off her in this city, in this company. It was something she had not experienced in a very long time. Come to think of it, maybe never.

Surely it was still confusing, but too comfortable to not enjoy. Going with the flow was her new strategy, she didn't want to waste her time being sad, not in a time like this.

Jimin's giggles traveled in the air from the other side of the gorgeous sun drenched patio. He was deeply engaged in something with JK, probably a bottle of champagne later.

That brought another smile to her face, seeing them enjoy themselves and being able to relax too, just like her. This city had that effect on all of them.

J-hope and Namjoon seemed to be in one of their usual more serious conversations, God knows about what topic. She couldn't care less, as long as she wasn't dragged into it tonight.

Wonderful dizziness overtook her senses and she decided to go with it instead of fighting it. Letting go off her need to control every situation and feeling was no longer a priority. She stumbled up from her chair, leaving her high heels  outside, as she made her way inside barefoot to find some water. She opened the bottle and drank half of it, before proceeding her walk towards the bathroom down the hall.

The music faded slowly, a sense of peace entering her mind with the silence. Her steps turned to pirouettes, her light sundress flowing with her movements. Her dizziness increased and her balance decreased with ever step until her joyful dancing came to a stop right in front of his astonishing frame.

His usual smirk widened as her surprised gaze met his and shyness returned by his intoxicating aura.

"Having fun?", Tae said with laughter in his chest.

"Gosh, how long have you been standing here?", she asked flustered.

"Long enough...", he replied calmly, glancing at her embarrassed face. He found it entertaining.

"I apologise for the disaster you just witnessed", she said and a giggle escaped her.

He kept staring at her, shamelessly, not moving one inch. His confidence had a boost and his self control had vanished from drinking tonight.

He took a step closer causing her to stumble backwards astonished towards the wall. That reaction amused him, he liked the power he had over her.

Her eyes looked away as her heart raced at the phase of the distant music, by his smooth confident moves closer to her.  His warm breath stroke her cheek and she could smell the alcohol in his breath tonight. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to escape in this situation with him. His hungry eyes gazed at hers with depth in them, a hint of sadness flashing by in between. She knew she should have looked away but she was mesmerised by him in this moment, by his closeness.

He sighed deeply, his hand slowly finding her cheek and brushing it lightly with the back of his hand. He wouldn't let go of her gaze, her lips parting as she swallowed hard and let her eyes wander to his lips. The butterflies in her stomach made flips, her gut filling with heat quickly by his presence in her space.

She knew her judgement was severely damaged by alcohol, that her boundaries had shrink to unexciting in this moment, but she was unable to move, frozen by her unfulfilled hunger for his touch. Her senses ached for just one second of physical contact with him, the way she had dreamed so many times the past months.

Did he know how badly she longed for it, how often he passed her mind. Did he feel the same way, unable to sleep, excited about every morning because he knew that meant more time with her. Sad about weekends, wishing they would end so that he could see her again, talk to her, listen to his favourite sound again, her laughter.

The space between them was too limited for him not to know, for him not to feel the same. He felt it with every fiber of his body in a way he had never felt it before, it spread like wildfire through him uncontrollably. Controlling his actions in this moment was impossible. If he could just have a taste of her lips, just for a second.

She didn't move away from him, he had his chance.

He leaned his arm on the wall, leaning his body even closer to hers, trapping her in his grip. The other hand found her chin and lift it up, his lips hoovering with its plumpness only an inch from hers.

"Why can't you be mine", he whispered in his velvety husky tone. His eyes stared into the depth of her soul, his heart aching. "That guy in your dreams...you would be lying if you said it still wasn't me...".

Her gut flipped by the sound of his words, a rush of adrenalin spreading through her. This moment was pure serotonin, and she wanted nothing more than to smash her lips against his and confirm her affection for him.

His forehead leaned on hers as he closed his eyes for a moment, his nose brushing lightly on hers.

"Tell me you feel it too", he continued, his voice filled with desperation.

She laced her hands behind his neck, sliding them slowly along his jawline.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, wanting him to know he wasn't alone in his storm of  emotions.

"You know I do Tae, it's all I think about", she whispered as his eyes flew open.

It wasn't his imagination playing a trick on him. She was in this as deep as him, suffering on her own, burning with desire that had nowhere to escape.

He grabbed both of her hands and lift one of them to his lips and kissed it softly while his deep brown eyes gazed into hers, looking for answers, for permission to take it further.

Her emotions caused her hormones to run wild by the sensation of his soft wet lips on her skin. Only the thought of them on hers were enough for her to surrender to the magnetic powers between them. She got on her toes, her hands resting gently on his chest for support, brushing her lips lightly on his in the sweetest kiss of her life enchanted by all the tension and anticipation between them, all the unsaid words. It was pure ecstasy and instantly she wanted more.

So did he. He followed her movement away from his lips, longing for more, needing more. He wanted to kiss her deeply, wrestle with her tongue gently, press her body against his so she could feel his arrousal, show her what she did to him with just her presence.

She panted heavily as she pressed herself against the wall, trying to escape him. She stared at him with a mix of guilt and sadness.

"I'm so sorry", she said and escaped his touch, fleeing into the bathroom and closing the door quickly behind her.

She leaned against the door and sank to the floor, her heart beating out of her chest, her head pounding.  She buried her face into her hands and shook her head in disbelief.

What have I done? What just happened?

A million thoughts rushed through her mind, a hundred possible consequences, released by that simple kiss.  Although it wasn't simple, it was the most complicated kiss of her life. It was everything she ever wanted but it wasn't permitted.

Tae was left alone in the hallway in his confusion, the taste of her lips still lingering on his, high from the euphoria and alcohol. He felt conflicted, uncertain of his next move.

Should he follow her or did she need space? He had so many questions but this wasn't the time for answers. Should he feel happy for the confirmation he just received or sad for the complications it caused? He wasn't sure.

All he knew was that this conversation needed to happen when both of them were sober. 

It was complicated.