Far from home|KTH

What friends are for

Namjoon opened the door to his Mercedes when he saw Emma coming out from the building with Jin.
He waved at them and met them with his signature blending smile.

"Hi guys! Are you two okay?", he asked.

"Hi Joon, yeah we are good. I just want her to be happy, that's the most important thing", Jin said and gave Emma a loving look. "She will always be my best friend".

Namjoon was impressed by Jin's attitude towards the whole situation. He wasn't sure that he would have been able to handle things in this mature manner himself if he was in his shoes.

"I'm proud of her too, this wasn't easy. Neither were things in LA ", Namjoon answered.

"Is at least one of you going to give me a hand with these bags? Or are you going to keep discussing my melt down?", Emma joked.

Both of them laughed and headed in her direction to give her a hand.

"I guess it's time...", Emma said and reached her open arms towards Jin to invite him in for one last goodbye hug.

Jin embraced her tightly, stroking her hair lovingly.

"Hey... it's not goodbye, it's see you later right?", he said and chuckled.

"I know... ", she replied but couldn't help but to feel sad.

Emma let go of Jin and she knew nothing would ever be the same again. It felt like a huge relief but also extremely frightening because she had not been without the support of him in almost nine years. It wasn't goodbye but it was definitely goodbye to the kind of relationship they had and it felt bitter sweet. She was letting go of something secure and familiar heading to the unknown.

"Okay let's go". She said as she let go of Jin and turned to Namjoon.

Jin watched her get into the car and drive away. It felt like he had lost her that day he dropped her at the airport. It felt like another lifetime. He had no idea what he would do now. For the first time in his adult life he was about to start fresh.

Emma watched him disappear in the car mirror as they drove off. It felt sad but not as devastating as when she left Tae in LA. Jin didn't look too upset either, and neither did she.

That spoke volumes.

"Are you okay?", Namjoon asked.

"Yeah...kind of...isn't it sad?", she replied with a sad pout on her face.

"I don't know...it's a complicated situation. I'm just glad you seem fine for now", he answered, observing her curiously.

"You know what...I'm tired of just crying, I'm all cried out for now...", she said with a slight smile.

"Now what?", he asked.

"I don't know really... I just need to focus on myself I think for a while", she replied and stared at the road in front of them.

"And ...you know who?", he asked carefully.

Emma sighed and a deep rush of pain reflected in her eyes.

"I don't want to be the source of his pain, it hurts too much. I love him...too damn much. It's madness", she replied quietly.

"Emma...he loves you too just as much...you are both suffering right now, does it have to be like that?", he asked.

Emma shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

" I don't know...I broke his heart. Would he ever be able to forgive me...?", she answered. "He is texting me everyday still, I broke him...but he keeps texting me the most amazing things...I miss him every second of my life, it's torture".

"So what's the problem?! I don't get it Emma! You should give it a real try!", he said with a confused face.

"I know but I just want to be sure...", she said with a hint of annoyance.

"Oh my God, you are being an idiot right now, seriously!",he yelled at her.

"Me ? An idiot??", she replied shocked. "Joon, come on, it would be madness to move across the world to just to see if it was really real. What should I do, just show up at his door?", she yelled back.

Namjoon stopped the car abruptly by the side of the road.

"Dude, are you serious right now?? If anything ever was real it was you and Tae! Why do you always find excuses for shit? Get out of your comfort zone and risk something for once like you did in LA, or it will be too late one day when you finally come to your senses. You will lose him and you will regret it ?!You moved across the world for Jin once, why not for him?", he said staring intensely at her at a close distance.

"Jeez... you scare me when you stare at me like this. Don't yell at me please...", Emma replied and shrunk into the tiniest version of herself in her car seat.

"Well I'm telling you that you are being an idiot! Someone has to call you out on your bullshit! Sometimes I just want to slap some sense into you...", he replied shaking his head and moving away from her.

"Joon I know. You are probably right but I'm scared", she admitted.

"You know I am right... but I can't force you, you have to be ready. It's a lot to take in, I know, but you were the happiest version of yourself with him over there. You are made for each other", he continued.

Emma nodded.

"Okay enough of this scolding, let's go home", he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah let's go home. And thank you by the way, for taking me in as a roommate. I will behave, I promise", she said with a smile.

She was grateful for a friend like him. Someone who knew her deepest, darkest sides and still loved her enough to catch her when she needed him to.
He had seen her journey the past year so he could also provide her with some insight and perspective.

Her mind did laps right now. She had not answered any of Tae's text the past weeks. He still kept sending her confessions of love mixed with frustration. In his darkest moments he turned to anger and it reflected in the messages.

That was a side Emma had not seen before and it scared her. The line between love and hate had become strangely thin in situations like these.