Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Twenty Seven.

Ashley sat in the car with Ben, both of them sipping large caffeinated drinks, with a selection of smaller cakes in a bag. "Are we going to talk about what was said back there?" Ben whispered, as Ashley looked at him, taking a sip of her coffee, before she sighed to herself.

"I'm not going to sit here and tell you about how shit my marriage is going to be" Ashley whispered. "You feel guilty don't you?" Ben whispered. "I've cheated on him twice, with you" Ashley mumbled. "But you're not happy" Ben mumbled back. "And that isn't your choice to make" Ashley stated, as she ran a hand through her hair.

"Why are you doing it then? Why are you getting married to someone you don't want to marry?" Ben whispered, as Ashley looked at him, and for once she was willing to talk about the complications of her relationship, she felt like she wasn't about to be judged, like Ben wasn't about to slate Jordan like everyone else did, like he really just wanted to listen to her.

"Because I remember the good, tell me honestly, if you was with someone for a couple of years and all you thought about was your future together, you had a bad day, but it meant nothing, everyone has bad days in their relationship" Ashley mumbled, almost like she had completely forgot she was asking Ben a question and was more trying to convince herself that everything was okay, that it was all just in her head.

"Ashy" Ben whispered, as he placed a hand on her thigh, making her look up at him, taking in his blue eyes. "You can tell me anything, think of it as we've just met, I can't judge you" Ben smiled, as Ashley smiled back at him.

"If you loved someone, planned your whole future with them, but you're friends hated them for whatever reason, would you still marry them?" Ashley whispered, as Ben sighed. "If my friends hated them they'd be a reason behind it, but I think, as long as I'm happy, I'd chose my happiness over opinions" Ben replied, as Ashley nodded her head.

"Mase and Jordan just never got on, Dec used to tolerate him for my sake" Ashley whispered. "How did you all meet? I mean, it's a bit of a weird friendship if you ask me" Ben smirked, as Ashley hit his shoulder playfully, but her eyes fell back down to Bens hand on her thigh, giving her a comforting squeeze.

"It's a funny story really" Ashley smiled, thinking back to when they met. "I was walking through the park by Cobham, and this ball come flying and knocked me over, I still don't know to this day whether it was Dec or Mase who kicked it though" Ashley laughed. "My drink went all over me, and Mason was mortified so he begged to make it up to me and I watched them train for a while and then Tony took me and Mason to the local Starbucks, and we chatted for a while and well yeah" Ashley smiled. "So you guys never attempted a relationship?" Ben smirked, as Ashley rolled her eyes, it was something everyone always asked. "No, he was really close with Mia at the time too, but they didn't start dating till high school" Ashley smiled. "We was like the three musketeers" Ashley continued. "Then Dec obviously went over to West Ham, we all stayed in contact though" Ashley smiled.

"So, how did you meet Jack then?" Ben questioned, as Ashley smiled to herself, taking another sip of her coffee. "I did a gig back in Birmingham, like I'm talking years ago, I must of been seventeen, maybe eighteen, and he come, but I remember seeing this brown haired girl screaming at this male, who I come to know as Jack" Ashley laughed. "And Jack had ironically spilt his beer over this girl who he had taken on a date to my gig, and then I remember giving this girl some of my wardrobe in the back room and we stayed in contact" Ashley continued to smile, the memories flooding her head. "And then obviously, Amber and Jack got together despite the drink spilling, and Mia and Mason were together, and me and the girls went to one of the first England matches and the rest is just history in the making" Ashley smiled.

"You love them don't you" Ben smiled, as he opted for a cookie out of the bag, splitting it with Ashley as she nodded her head. "I don't know what I'd be without them" Ashley whispered, as the tears began to fill her eyes again.

"But I'm also nothing without Jordan, I can't break it off with him weeks before the wedding, I'll be eaten alive" Ashley whispered, as the tears began to fall from her eyes, Ben shaking his head as he put a hand to her face wiping her tears.

"You're happiness is all that matters, it shouldn't matter if money is involved, or broken hearts are involved. You are the most important person in that situation" Ben whispered.
"So I'll ask you the question that you always avoid" Ben whispered, as Ashley looked at him, the tears lining her eyes.
"I'm not one hundred perfect happy Ben, you already know that answer" Ashley whispered, before Ben even had the time to ask.
"Then why are you still with him?" Ben whispered.
"I've just told you Ben, I can't break off the wedding" Ashley whispered. "Well then there's more to it than you're letting on" Ben mumbled, as Ashley nodded her head.
"I cant tell you, but I can be honest with you about parts of it" Ashley whispered.

"Do you think that if you was single, we would have a chance?" Ben whispered, as Ashley wiped her eyes, looking over at the male in front of her, taking in his appearance, something she found herself doing more often than once, the way he smiled, the way his eyes sparkled when he spoke, the way he ran a hand through his hair when he was anxious, which is what he was doing now, knowing that the words that had left his mouth had put a dot on their friendship.
"I think, if things were different, I'd of given you a day for a date" Ashley whispered with a smile, as Ben smirked to himself.
"I think we're already on a date" Ben smiled, as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her cheek.

As Ashley savoured the feeling of his lips on her cheek, a blush spreading across her cheeks, a fire igniting in her stomach.
And for the first time in a long while, she found herself happy, not worrying about anything.

"We should probably head to home" Ashley whispered, as she looked down at her hand that was now embraced with Bens, his thumb rubbing slightly over her fingers, as he smiled over at her. "But Ben, you know we can't keep doing this" Ashley whispered, as Ben nodded his head. "Friends don't look at each other the way we do Ashy, and some part of me wished I had met you years ago, because maybe it would of been me who you walked down the isle to" Ben mumbled, as Ashley looked over at him, as the car began to move.
"Is that you saying you have feelings for me?" Ashley whispered, as Ben smiled to himself.
"I think we both know I feel something for you, the same way you feel something for me, else we wouldn't keep being in this situation, would we darling?" Ben smiled.
"But I quite enjoy the idea of a secret love story" Ben whispered.