Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Seventy Eight.

December 6th 2020
The Grammys

The venue was booming with cheers and clapping, and the noise from inside the venue coming from the crowd could be heard around the arena, as well as to the fans who lined the streets in hopes that they would catch a glimpse of their favourite artist, even if it was just for a second.

But, Ashley, Leah and Skye all sat a table close to the stage, knowing that they were one of the last people to preform, but on the stage at the moment was Stacey Lou, and her dancers, which included Ashley's fiancé.

When you're running who you run to, where do you go to hide, so what she ain't giving you enough to, get you through the night..

Ashley, Leah and Skye all sat watching upcoming singer; Stacey Lou sing and dance around the stage. Ashley had met Stacey a few times due to Jordan being her backing dancer for years, and Stacey felt like such a down to earth person, Ashley really felt as if she had made a friend outside of her friendship group.

But as Ashley stood and listened to the lyrics, she couldn't help but let her head fly with scenarios in her head. Ashley stood watching as Jordan danced with his whole body, watching how he put his emotions into every movement, she knew that dancing was in his blood, she knew that he had worked hard to get where he was and it only encouraged her to work harder.
But what she didn't like was the voices she was hearing in her head.

Ashley watched as Jordan and Stacey danced side by side, her hands on his body, as his hands were on hers, and Ashley wasn't a particularly jealous person, but all of a sudden, it felt as if her world finally made sense again, and not in the way she wanted it to.

Everytime your lips touch another, I want you to feel me, I want you to feel me, everytime you dance with somebody, I want you to feel me, I want you to feel me

But to anyone watching in the crowd, if you didn't know that Jordan Williams and Ashley James were engaged to each other, you'd assume that Jordan and Stacey Lou were an item, the way his lips ghosted across her cheek, the way his hands held her body.
But there was always a way of dancing, how you used your emotions to dance, how it was always like an actor kissing their actress in a scene.

But as Ashley sat with her mouth open wide, watching as Jordans lips caught Stacey's as the exited the stage, she knew it was never an act, she knew there was something more to it all.

"That didn't just happen did it?" Ashley whispered, and she had no right to be upset, she had no right to be bad, she had kissed Ben a handful of times, but it didn't mean she couldn't feel something.
For years she had been Jordan's girlfriend, for a year or so she had been his fiancée, and here he was, kissing someone as he exited the stage, and Ashley knew they were no longer both innocent.

~~~

"Ah, Ashley great vocals tonight as always" Simon, someone who Jordan knew very well stated, as she smiled in his direction, before opening the dressing room Jordan was in, watching as it slammed behind her, making the photo frame shake on the wall.

"Hey, I was just coming to find you" Jordan smiled, as he wiped what looked like lipstick from his cheek and the corner of his mouth, as Ashley felt the tears start to set in her eyes.

"You're with her aren't you?" Ashley stated, it didn't sound like a question as it left her mouth, it was really a statement.

"What are you rambling on about now?" Jordan questioned, as Ashley shook her head. "I saw you kiss her" Ashley stated. "That's not what you thought it was" Jordan stated, as he stood up from the chair he was sitting on, walking over to Ashley, trying to embrace her in his arms, but the younger girl was having none of it.

"How long?" Ashley questioned, as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking up at him as she blinked away the tears. Whilst half of her thought this would be the perfect time to tell him about Ben, she knew she needed to know what was going on with him and Stacey first.

"You know that I've always loved her" Jordan stayed, as Ashley rolled her eyes. "Well why don't you go marry her instead!" Ashley exclaimed, as Jordan shook his head. "You are not using this as a way out Ash, we're getting married" Jordan smiled, and all Ashley wanted to do was slap him, to hit him and wipe the smile from his face.

"Anyone would think you want me to be miserable" Ashley mumbled, as Jordan shook his head. "I don't want that, plus once we're married the contract finishes after a year Ash, it isn't that long" Jordan tried to sympathise.

"You're not getting it you never do!" Ashley screamed, as Jordan looked at her like she had grown two heads, he had never seen her like this before, it was a first time for him, but it wasn't something he enjoyed.

"You're clearly in love with someone else? So what am I? I'm a pawn in your game that I don't want to be apart of anymore" Ashley stated, this time a lot calmer. "You're just using me and for what? Because it's not the fame and it's not my money either, so what are you getting out of it? Because I can't work it out" Ashley questioned, as she ran a hand through her hair, looking at him through her eyelashes, she didn't want to cry, she wasn't upset or hurt, she was angry.

"It's a contract Ash, you know there's only one way out of it, and that's for you to make that move" Jordan stated, his voice cold and harsh, and in that moment everything was confirmed to her, everything everyone has always said was true.

He didn't care, he never did, and he had stringer her along for years making out that he had full control over everything, that he could end it all if he wanted to.

"That's the thing about clauses Ash, two people sign, but at the end of the day two people suffer" Jordan mumbled. "You thought I was the villain in all of this, but I'm just as tied down as you are, and I'm not prepared to lose my career over it, no matter how much I love Stacey" Jordan stated.
"So you make the choice" Jordan stated.

"Live your dream, or be unhappy" Jordan stated, as he walked out the door, leaving her like she was nothing, like all she would ever be was nothing.