Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Forty.

November 12th 2020

Ben smiled over at Ashley, who held her glass up, half full, intoxicated just like all of her friends, as she smiled and sang Sweet Caroline with them.

"She's so beautiful" Ben mumbled, as Jack smirked at him. "I know, she's got the kindest heart as well" Jack mumbled, as he watched from afar as his own fiancée danced with her friends, smiling and laughing about nothing in particular.

"I just wish she wasn't taken yano? I feel like gods dangling the perfect match in front of me, and he knows I can't have her" Ben mumbled, as Jack clasped a hand to his back. "I know what you mean bro" Jack stated.

"She said she wasn't happy" Ben mumbled, as Jack raised an eyebrow at him, before looking over at Ashley who was smiling ear to ear, moving her body to the beat of the song that was now playing.
"Did she say that though?" Jack mumbled. "She never talks about her feelings anymore, just shuts us all out" Jack continued, as he took a swig of his own drink.

"Jack, if I tell you something you have to promise it stays between me and you" Ben mumbled, as Jack turned his body to face Ben, looking over at him and giving him his full attention. Ben had stopped drinking over an hour ago, and felt sober enough to have this conversation, whereas Jack on the other hand would be lucky to remember it in an hours time.

"I kissed Ash" Ben whispered, as Jacks eyes went wide. "What did you say?" Jack whispered back, as Ben shook his head. "We've kissed a couple of times" Ben mumbled, as Jack shook his head laughing. "Oh I heard ya, just needed to make sure I heard it right" Jack smirked.
"When? Where? How?" Jack questioned, excitement dripping from his tone, as Ben held his hands up. "Quiet, for fuck sake keep quiet" Ben muttered, as he nodded to the door to the Villa, indicating for them to continue this inside.

"When? How?" Jack questioned as they leant against the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Playing spin the bottle, outside after your engagement party, earlier on" Ben smiled, as he thought back to every time Ashley's lips and touched his. "No way bro" Jack smiled.

"Does that mean she's leaving him?" Jack smiled, as Ben sighed to himself, shaking his head. "She just keeps saying she can't do us" Ben mumbled. "But I know she's not happy" Ben continued. "But I can't just sit there and let him marry her, she's miserable with him" Ben muttered. "Oh I know, we've been telling her for months" Jack muttered. "But maybe she'll listen to you" Jack smiled. "Maybe you're the reason she won't do it" Jack continued to smile, the goofy grin plastered all over his face. "This stayed between me and you though Jack" Ben warned. "I mean it". "Secrets safe with me" Jack smirked. "Secret love story" Jack beamed.

~~~~

"There you are" Ben smiled, as he walked out into the patio area, the rest of their friends were busy getting ready, but Ashley knew she had to go back to her own accommodation, she knew she needed to spend the rest of her holiday with her fiancée, no matter how much she wanted to be with her friends.
"Yeah, just soaking it all up" Ashley smiled, as Ben nodded his head, leaning against the wooden gazebo that they had all spent most of the afternoon under.

"You know you're beautiful right?" Ben smiled, as Ashley looked down at the ground, blushing. "You tell me that most days I see you" Ashley smiled, as Ben smiled wider at her. "Just reminding you" Ben smiled. "I'll remind you everyday if you let me" Ben continued, as he held a hand out for Ashley to take.

But as she stood there, taking in his appearance of a white dress shirt with some blue jeans, his hair slicked back as usual, his blue eyes sparkling like the stars that were coming out above them, she knew she was playing with fire, she knew she couldn't have this, she knew she couldn't have him, and it made it all the more bittersweet.

"You can take my hand, it won't bite" Ben smirked, as Ashley rolled her eyes at him playfully, but moved her arm out to reach for his hand, as he pulled her into his embrace, his eyes looking down at her, as she looked up at him with a small smile on her face.

"Why can't we be like this" Ben whispered. "My heart beats so fast around you" Ben mumbled. "I feel like all the stolen moments, we've kept behind closed doors, but I'd shout it from the rooftop if you was mine" Ben whispered, as Ashley just listened to his words.

"Ben, I'm getting married, I can't change that" Ashley whispered, but she stayed in his arms, she felt comforted, she felt at peace in his arms, and it was a feeling she was beginning to crave more and more.
"I don't see why you're marrying him if your unhappy" Ben mumbled, as he rested his chin on top of her head, holding her closer to him. "I'll tell you one day" Ashley whispered. "But right now, you just need to accept that I'm getting married" Ashley whispered.

"Does this mean I can't kiss you anymore" Ben mumbled, as he moved his head from hers, looking down at her, as she nodded her head slowly.

"Can I have one more to remember?" Ben whispered, as Ashley smiled to herself, she would kiss him time and time again for the feeling she felt when his lips met hers, she knew it was wrong, she knew she shouldn't do it.

But as Ben dragged her to a secluded part of the garden, away from prying eyes, or nosey friends, he leant his arm against the wall, holding a hand to Ashley's hip to hold her in place against the wall, as his lips ghosted Ashley's.

"If you say no, I won't do it" Ben whispered, as his eyes searched hers for a sign that she didn't want this, and he would walk away, he would listen to what she wanted, he just wanted her to be happy.

But as Ashley's fingers traced his cheek, before she held her palm flat against his cheek, he knew she wanted this just as much as he did, as he placed his lips to hers, just as the fireworks from down the strip began to be let off.

And as Ashley and Bens lips moved in perfect harmony, all she could think of is how she wanted this feeling forever, Ben wishing that she would just leave Jordan, and put herself first for once.
The fireworks going off in the sky around them, lighting up the sky, just as the fireworks erupted in Bens stomach, with the butterflies flying around in Ashley's.

She was falling for Ben, even when she knew she shouldn't. But Ben had already fell, and he was determined to catch her when she did.