Secret Love Song - Ben Chilwell

Forty Three.

November 15th 2020.

Ben sat on the sofa in Ashley's house, his eyes scanning the photos that lay in the fireplace, photos of Ashley in iconic places, or places that held meaning to her, as well as odd photos of Jordan placed around the room, but he noticed quite quickly there was little photos of the both of them together.

"You must be the only person I know who hasn't got photos of you and your partner everywhere around the house" Ben whispered, as he stood up from his seat and his fingers danced along the fireplace, getting a better look at some of the photos.

"We just yeah" Ashley sighed, as she ran a hand through her hair as Bens eyes landed back on her. "Just what?" Ben whispered, as Ashley looked at him.

"I want to tell you everything Ben, I really do" Ashley whispered, as she looked at the ground and watched her slipper skin across the flooring, before she looked back up at him. "But if I do, I know how much I'm risking and I don't know if I can put that risk into the world" Ashley whispered, as Ben looked at her. "You can trust me with anything" Ben whispered, as Ashley shook her head. "It wouldn't just be me who it risked Ben, and that's the problem" Ashley whispered. "It's not just my secret anymore" Ashley finished, as Ben nodded his, placing a hand on her arm. "You can trust me with anything, I promise your secrets are safe with me" Ben stated.

But Ashley didn't know that he had told Jack, that he had told Jack everything. Ashley believed that she could trust Ben with anything, but she didn't know whether she could trust him with this.

But before she knew it the words left her mouth.

"I don't love him Ben, and he doesn't love me, well I don't think he does" Ashley whispered, as Ben let his mouth drop, the confusion clear on his face.

"So why are you getting married?!" Ben exclaimed, as Ashley took a deep breath, shaking her hands by her sides, trying to calm herself down. She was halfway to the truth being out, and it was too late to turn it back around now.

"Me and Jordan are in an arranged marriage" Ashley breathed. "It's technically all fake" Ashley whispered, as Ben nodded his head slowly, before he sat down on the sofa, looking forward, his gaze adverted to the windows, before he looked at the pictures, then back to his hands what were resting on his lap.

"So it's all fake?" Ben whispered, as Ashley nodded her head, sighing to herself before she sat next to him on the sofa. "So, every time we've kissed, you haven't really been cheating on him?" Ben whispered, as Ashley shook her head. "It's breaching my contract, and even if I like you, or even if I liked what had happened, it can't happen, I have to marry him" Ashley whispered, as Ben shook his head.

"I'll buy you out of the contract" Ben stated, as Ashley looked at him with wide eyes. "I'm not for sale Ben" Ashley muttered, as Ben shook his head smiling. "If you really want to me with me, if you want to see where this could go, let me help" Ben whispered. "I want to help you" Ben continued, as his hand reached for hers, both of them looking down at their hands laced together.

"Ben, you're not getting this" Ashley whispered, as she gave his hand a slight squeeze. "He is the only one who can call this off, and believe me, it's doing his wonders, his getting everything he needs out of this" Ashley stated. "I highly doubt he will ever call this off, not with weeks to go now, his got too much to lose" Ashley mumbled. "So, you really think he wants to marry you?" Ben muttered, as Ashley nodded her head. "I can't prove his ever saw someone else, I can't prove his 'cheating'" Ashley mumbled, as she air quoted the word cheating with her fingers, knowing that it never would be classed as cheating, unless they were both caught by the media.

"But maybe with some help we can" Ben whispered, as Ashley shook her head. "No one else knows Ben, I can't risk this getting out" Ashley mumbled. "I love my friends I do, and I trust them with everything, but the less people who know about this the better" Ashley whispered. "I've told you because I didn't want to lead you on, I didn't want you to think that something could happen when it won't" Ashley whispered.

But before Ashley knew it, Ben was shaking his head and crashing his lips to hers, holding her face with one hand, as his other hand held her hip, moving her closer to him.

As Ben and Ashley's lips moved together, it become more hungry, more passionate, both of them only stopping briefly for some air, as Ben pulled Ashley into his lap, holding both hands to her hips, as his lips began to move down from her cheek, to her jawline, to her neck.

Ashley closed her eyes, as her hands rested on his shoulders, a soft sigh leaving her mouth as Ben smiled to himself, nipping at her skin briefly, before Ashley pulled away from him.

"Ben we can't do this" Ashley whispered, as he looked at her, a questioning glance on his face. "Why? It's not cheating Ashy" Ben whispered, as he kissed her cheek again, using one hand to turn her face as his lips ghosted over hers.

"No, Ben, listen" Ashley whispered, as she used one of her hands to pull her hair behind her ear. "I've never done this" Ashley whispered, as she looked down at her legs that were on either side of Bens, her bottom placed firmly on his thighs, with little room between them.
"What do you mean Ashy?" Ben whispered, as his hand fell through her hair, playing with the ends of it.
"Ben, I've never slept with anyone" Ashley whispered, as Ben looked at her with a smile.
"Then Ashy, my beautiful Ashy" Ben whispered with a small smile.
"Tonight, we're going to sit and watch some funny films, some romantic films, and we're going to fall asleep, and I'm going to hold you close, give you a morning kiss, breakfast in bed, whatever you want" Ben whispered, as he pressed his lips to the top of her head.
"And then, when the time is right, we will do everything else" Ben smiled.
"But for tonight, think of it as our first date, because one day, I'll be able to take you out, in public, holding your hand, and I'll be able to tell the world you're mine" Ben whispered.

Why can't I hold you in the street, why can't I kiss you on the dance floor, I wish that it could be like that, why can't it be like that, because I'm yours..