The Will to Live - Xiao x Reader

I'm Right Here - Xiao

"How many people have you killed?!" Y/N demanded.

"I don't know..."

"You're a monster!" They turned and walked away. 

I'm not a monster!" I cried, "Please Y/N, don't leave."

"I didn't mean to kill them." 

I screamed until they were completely out of my view. Without Y/N... Everything faded black.

"Xiao, wake up!" They called, "It's ok, I'm right here."

I felt a sudden heat source next to me.

"You're alright." 

"Y/N?" They laid on the bed hugging me close and I fought the urge to push them off.

They raise their head, their face was red, and they looked at me with a tear in their eye. What is going on?

"I'm sorry." Y/N mumbled and wiped their eyes, "You called my name in your sleep and kept asking me not to leave. I... I didn't know what to do."

They gently placed their feet on the ground and sat on the chair next to me. Y/N was avoiding my eye contact.

"Why were you crying..?" I ask as gently as I could, I still didn't understand but...

"You kept saying, 'I'm not a monster.'" They hesitated, "I've been labelled a monster my whole life... I guess I just..." 

They stopped. Just then I realised, I knew nothing about Y/N but... I want to get to know them...

"I'm sorry I shouldn't compare what I've been through to what you have..."

"You've been called a monster..?" I didn't understand and I knew I shouldn't have asked but... I need to know: How could someone as caring and sweet be labelled a monster?

"I've mostly accepted the title..." Y/N's voice trembled, "It still hurts but... I've gotten used to it."

"Y/N?" I ask without even thinking, "Can you tell me more about you..?"

I'm such an idiot! I don't have emotions, I shouldn't care, but I did. I had thousands of questions about them. The blue flames, the fact that they have no vision, the bandages on their arms, the sadness in their eyes they try so hard to hide...

"What do you want to know?" They force a smile, "I'll... do my best to answer what I can."

I knew I was pushing their limits. Y/N was only looking out the window, they refused eye contact and only turned their head when speaking. Something's off... I wanted to ask about the blue flames first but, "Is something troubling you?"

"I'm..." Y/N looks down, "Aether, he... He said something to me but I couldn't hear... I want to know what he said but... I ended up running away."

Aether caused this? Why don't they just ask him?

"Do you want to talk about it or..?" Y/N shook their head, "I'm sorry, I'm... I'm not very good with emotions." I've never talked about anything like this with anyone. Y/N was different to most humans, they made me feel... Safe. But to see them so emotional? It didn't feel right. Maybe I should change the subject?

"Do you mind me asking you about the blue flames?" I try to distract them.

"My flames?" They smiled a bit, "Well, they're regular flames but... I've learnt to control the temperature. The current range that I can control is from 30°C to around 3000°C. If I go beyond that I can't control what burns and what doesn't."

"...control what burns and what doesn't." That's possible?

"Y/N, I..." Can I just tell them they interest me? Or would that sound weird?

"Xiao, do you trust me?" They ask.

It felt like I'd been crushed by a mountain. "Do you trust me?", the words rang in my head. Do I? Trust them? A human...

"I do..." I stop to think, "To an extent."

"I see." Y/N smiled again, "You're aware I don't have a vision... Would you mind, not telling anyone? I'll admit I'm not normal."

I nod. Y/N was basically forced to trust me with their secret, maybe I could trust them too...

"Is there anything else you wanted to ask or..?" They yawned.

"When was the last time you slept?" I question.

Y/N looks me in the eyes for the first time this whole conversation, making me blush. I won't allow my feelings to endanger them but... I have 2 more days with them. Maybe I could...

"I'm not sure." Was I keeping them from sleeping? "Probably a month or two..."

A month?

"How the f*ck are you alive?"

"I ask myself the same thing every day." Y/N really wasn't the happy carefree person they acted like. I almost feel bad for them.

"Anyway," Y/N walks up to the window. "You should go back to sleep"

"I'd rather not," I protest. "I..."

"I can stay here if you want." They turn to face me.

I felt my heart rate rise, Why do they always trigger this reaction? I still don't understand what this is...

"I... I want you." I turn red realising what I'd just said, "T... To stay I mean."

Y/N gently places the back of their hand on my forehead, they studied me with their eyes and sighed. They sat back down in their chair and closed their eyes for a moment.

"You have nothing to be anxious about." Y/N's voice was like a calming voice over me, "After all, I'm right here."

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A/N: I thought this was a nice place to end for a chapter. I should probably sleep now whoops, good night/morning/evening (idk).

Take care!