The Will to Live - Xiao x Reader

Acceptance - Xiao

"You idiot." A voice peaks through my sleep.

***

I look up at the ceiling as a large ache spreads through my chest. What happened?

"Y/N?" My voice cracked. 

Where are they? How did I get in bed? I sit up and examine the room; it was empty. I felt a longing for Y/N's presence that I didn't want. An Adeptus can't fall for a mortal, I remind myself. Why did Y/N bring me this feeling? Why do I want them so badly?

"Xiao?" A voice interrupted my thoughts, Aether was standing at the door. "Is Y/N here?"

"I don't know." I looked down. What if they never come back? What if they're hurt?

"H... How close are you two?" Aether stuttered, "Like have they told you much about them?"

Aether was clearly scared of me but... Something else seemed to have his attention. 

"Y/N is..." Were we close? "They are my caretaker, nothing more."

"I see." Aether looked me in the eyes before he turned away and left.

***

"I'm sorry I took so long." A voice mumbled, "Are you hungry?"

Y/N offered a plate of Almond Tofu with one hand and hid the other behind their back. What had happened between those two? And why were they hiding their hand? 

"Xiao?" Y/N leaned down and looked me in the eyes, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Uh..." I turned red, I was in pain but, "Yeah I'm fine."

They sighed, "What were you thinking?"

"What?" What did I do? "I... I don't remember."

My memory from yesterday was a blur. I'd taken the medicine, then Y/N left with the traveller and blank. I look down to find that Y/N had replaced my old bandages, What did I do?

Y/N placed the tofu next to my bed and walked over to the bathroom. Their hand was still hidden but I noticed a bandage swinging past their hips as they walked. I still didn't understand but as they closed the door behind them, I started to remember: I'd tried to walk but I must've collapsed.

Y/N came back out of the bathroom shortly; they didn't even shower. Their hand was bandaged again which brought back questions that had laid in the back of my head.

"Do you remember?" I nod and try to explain what happened.

"I..." I gazed down, "I'm sorry."

Y/N laughed a bit which made me turn red and I look at them, "I'm sorry it's just," They laughed a little more, "You're cute when you're embarrassed."

Heat rose to my face. Cute? It felt like I was about to explode, Cute?! An Adeptus shouldn't be cute. 

"Please don't try to run away again." Y/N's smile faded.

"Is something bothering you?" I knew it wasn't my right to ask but I did anyway. Y/N turned to look out the window and faintly nodded, "Do you mind... Telling me?" I asked. 

I've never asked someone about their feelings before. This is the most I've ever spoken to a single mortal and yet, I couldn't help myself. I'd caught feelings that I couldn't just throw away because they meant something to me; I liked them.

"Aether likes me and..." Y/N's voice was quieter than ever, "I don't feel the same way. He... Ran away and got himself in danger. I... I used Electro... and now I don't know what to do."

"Electro?" I asked, But Y/N always used Pyro. "You're not..."

"No," Y/N cut me off, "I'm not human..."

They were shaking, But why? Wait... Not human? Then what?

"So..." I was pushing but I needed to know, "What are you..?"

"I... I can't tell you." They stuttered, "I'm sorry."

Y/N's shaking was almost scary. I have to do something, but what?

"Y/N you're shaking" I started, I had no clue what else I could do. "I won't tell anyone and you don't have to tell me what you are. I... I trust you."

"Thanks," They took and deep breath and tried to calm down.

Although Y/N didn't fully trust me, they still trusted me with some of their mysteries. I still wanted to ask them about the bandages on their arms but, seeing them shake like that... Made me feel helpless. They'd shown a part of them that was weaker than what Y/N presented themself as and, I wish I knew what was going on in their head.

"You should go back to sleep," Y/N broke their silence. "Rest up and heal."

***

Sunlight blazed into my eyes and the sound of birds forced me to wake up. I sat up and expected Y/N to be waiting for me to wake up but they were asleep on the chair next to my bed. I've never seen Y/N sleep but, something inside me tempted me to get closer to them. The pain in my chest was still there but, If I opened the wound again... No. I would only burden Y/N more if I stayed with them for any longer. No human should have to deal with my karma. "I'm not human."

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared. Their hair was a little messy and they were wearing the same thing as always but something was different. My eyes kept wandering to their lips and heat rushed to my face. I want to... No. I shouldn't. I shouldn't, but I leaned over and pressed my lips against theirs. Y/N's lips were so soft and comforting.

"Xiao?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Bye! (ehe)