The Will to Live - Xiao x Reader

Emotions - Xiao

"You have nothing to be anxious about." Y/N's voice was like a calming voice over me, "After all, I'm right here."

***

"Good morning." Y/N offered me some Almond Tofu, "How are you feeling?"

I sat up but a surge of pain spread through my chest, it was more painful than yesterday. Why does it hurt more? Y/N looked at me with their distressed eyes and tilted their head.

"Is something wrong?"

"No." I lied.

Y/N took the tofu and placed it down next to them, "Please don't lie."

How did they always know? "I... I'm just a little sore." I sighed, although having them around was nice, I didn't want to continue to burden Y/N; with my karma or my health.

"A little?" Y/N stared into my soul, "Would you like me to make you something to numb the pain?"

I nod, If I can't feel the pain then Y/N won't have to deal with me anymore, but that also means... They would leave.

"Numbing isn't a cure, Xiao." They'd read my mind again, "I will be back in a bit, okay?"

Y/N is definitely different but, I can't figure them out. It's like they know my every thought. Yet, I can't tell if they're in pain or if they're happy... Rex Lapis, I can't even tell if they like me. I have 2 days left with Y/N, I'm itching to get out of this damn bed but... "...Once you're healed you can have nothing to do with me." Was that what I wanted? Why does never seeing Y/N again make me feel... Sad? Who are they to me? "I will be your caretaker for 3 days..." That's right, they're just my caretaker...

"Xiao?" A voice called, "Where's Y/N?"

"I... Uh, who are you?" I look up, "Oh, Traveller my bad. Y/N went to go make some medicine. Although, I don't know when they'll be back, sorry."

"Do you have a fever?" The Traveller asked though he didn't look worried. Or at least... As worried as Y/N gets.

"No."

"O.. Okay well," The Traveller stuttered when I looked him in the eyes, "Can you tell them I was looking for them?"

"Sure, whatever." Something about Aether being with Y/N annoyed me but, they're probably safer with him than with me...

***

"Back." Y/N handed me a vile of some liquid.

"What is this?" I asked, "It..."

"It should help with the pain." They cut me off and smiled, "I find it pretty effective."

I drank the liquid but it didn't have any taste... It was just like water. Y/N proceeded to spoon-feed me, which was still embarrassing, but I was getting used to it. I still felt my face heat up when they got close to me though, Y/N didn't mention anything about it anymore.

"Oh... I forgot." I hesitated, I didn't want Y/N to leave but, I lowered my head. "Aether was looking for you."

"Oh?" They said, "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head, I wanted them to stay with me but... That was selfish. Why do I feel like this?

"Well, if you need me just call me," Y/N lifted my chin, forcing me to meet their eyes, "Okay?"

I nod and try to hide my face; I was probably bright red. 

"I love you..." I whisper as Y/N closed the door behind them. Part of me hoped they heard but another wished they didn't. These feelings are confusing. 

Just like that, I was alone again... I used to like being alone. Y/N had changed me and... It scared me. An Adeptus shouldn't have feelings for a mortal; or anyone at all. What's wrong with me? Maybe I should just leave... It could be for the better and I'm not in pain anymore... I sit up. It hurt a little but nothing I wasn't used to so, I placed my feet on the floor and tried to stand but... My chest felt heavy.

I leaned against the chair Y/N would sit on as my limbs trembled. I noticed my vision start to blur in and out... How injured was I? How effective is Y/N's medicine? I could only feel the slightest tinge of pain but my body didn't have the strength to hold me up. I tried to take a few steps but...

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A/N: Sorry this was a shorter chapter than usual I keep getting distracted, whoops. I need to stop with these cliffhangers istg. Anyways I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Take care.