Blood Soaking In The Eyes Of A Halo [Skephalo Fanfic]

Chapter 10 : Questioning Emotions

No TW Today Folks, Your Welcome

Skeppy
Skeppy sat there, pausing at his words only a few minutes ago. Bad had been tearing up and he had told him he was attractive. The word clung to the back of his throat. Bad hadn't seem to of caught the statement. It was expected actually, since he was having a panic attack. Hopefully Bad had actually gone to bed, and not sit there crying all night, or worse.

The word felt dry, but not wrong or false. It felt horribly correct and that's what made him question himself. He couldn't help but get reminded of sitting in Bad's lap, kissing him on his toilet seat, after cleaning and sleeping in that same bathroom Bad had cried in. His mind was dodging the contents of self harm, not wanting to think of what Bad could possibly be doing to himself at that very moment.

His mind wandered to the softness of Bad's lips, his pale green eyes, his brown hair. Skeppy put his hand through his jet black hair, getting red at the thought. He shouldn't be thinking about it, not now. He at the same wanted to feeling like his pants tightened. God damn, not now, please not now. He told himself, getting hotter at the thought. I'm thought I was straight!!

He couldn't have this now, nope, nope, nope. He'd have to ignore but the draw to satisfy himself and end the torture was so drawing. He shivered at the thought. He didn't want to be a pervert. He swore he wasn't this hungry for someone's touch before. He got reminded again to his words. He bit his tongue, right now, he was trying to lie to himself. He knew it too, cause he couldn't have this happening. He knew he had to hold his feelings back, put it in a bag. Though like a wild animal, those feelings did want to go in the bag, and if in, wanted to come out.

I need to fix this, but it is sooo wrong. I live alone. Does it matter? His thoughts counteracted each other, his mind have a battle that he couldn't stop. He went and layed down, he wasn't going jack off, no. Not then, not never. He wasn't going to destroy that clean slate he had. At least, not with himself. He shivered at the thought of doing so with Bad. This was horrible, his mind was evil. Truly a pervert. If this burning desire was in control, he'd be a slut. Luckily it wasn't. He was going to keep it this way. He was going to try.

He decided to play music, it coming to 'Heat Waves'. He hated the thought of this song, and that the DNF fandom had drooled over this song. He tried to change it, him unable to. The words seeped into his mind. 'Sometimes all I think about is you. Late Nights in the middle of June.' What month was it? He looked at calendar seeing it was May, groaning on how close it was to the toxic month. 'Heat waves faking me out. Can't make you happier now.' His mind stuck the bathroom kiss. He knew Bad had liked it, was Bad even still interested in him.

The words continued, his mind fading into sleep, the last words from the song seeping into his mind being, 'You can say something so loving.Now I have to let you go.'

(Also Heat Waves is very Poggers all by itself, please go listen to it yourself.)