Love On Set - Florence Pugh

fifteen

Yesterday's dinner was the most awkward thing I've done for a long time. I didn't speak to Flo too much, only if I had to. And then, after the dinner, I immediately said that I don't feel good and left to my room. I just couldn't think straight next to her. It hurt my head, my heart and my whole body when she was around me after the moment in my bedroom.

I was so close to kissing my crush and maybe my mom ruined the moment, but I ruined everything rest. I run like a fucking coward. I literally showed her how much a child I am, running from hard conversation and situation in general.

But fortunately, I have Mia with me right now to help me with my problems. We arrived from the airport an hour ago. Mom left to the set as soon as we were safe inside the house. We ate the lunch prepared earlier by my mom and then we retired to my room. That's why we're currently laying on my bed.

"So, why were you so quiet the whole journey?" Mia asks finally, probably being done with the silence from my side.

Flashbacks from yesterday sneaks into my head instantly and I need to close my eyes, breathe deeply a few times before I can open them and be able to think clearly.

"Em..." I exhale heavily, bringing the chair, on which I'm sitting, closer to the bed and have a better look at the brunette. "Flo came last night..." I trial off quietly, watching how her face lightens up at the mention of the actress.

"Wait, here?" She chips in surprised.

"Yes! Mom invited her for a dinner..." I exclaim and open my mouth to continue, but once again she interferes to me.

"Wow" She breathes out and I groan annoyed at her.

"Let me talk, bitch!" I scream at her and she pouts, crossing her arms above her chest.

"Puta" (Bitch) She mumbles and I roll my eyes, ignoring her.

"Anyway, long story short we almost kissed" I reveal ad she gasps, putting her hand over her mouth and sitting up on the bed, shifting into crossed position.

"No way!" She shouts unbelieving, hitting her knee in shock, "Wait, almost?" She calms instantly, furrowing her eyebrows when she takes in my words fully.

"Yeah, we were so close" I confirm, lifting my hand into the air. I show the distance with my index finger and a thumb, almost pressing them together. "But mom called us for dinner and I left her on the bed, without talking or anything and just ignore her whole existence" I murmur out the last part, being kinda embarrassed how I behaved.

"You left her?!" Mia barks shocked, widening her eyes in the process.

"Yeah..." I whisper ashamed. "I was scared, okay?" I add quickly, defending myself.

"Scared of what? Kissing the most beautiful girl on the planet?" She mocks and I close my eyes for a second tiredly.

"No" I reply, rolling my eyes at her sarcasm. "I just felt awkward, you know I'm not good in this. I'm terrible if it involves situations like these, I'm awful with showing my emotions and feelings" I remind her in whisper and she smiles sadly to me.

"Oh, Bella" She mumbles, patting the place next to her.

I sit on the bed with my knees pressed to my chest and rest my head on her shoulder. She doesn't wait and wraps her arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a side hug. She kisses the top of my head softly and squeezes tight.

"I fucked up, didn't I?" I utter, my voice breaking a bit because I feel the tears gathering in my eyes from so many emotions at once. I'd kill for a cigarette right now, but I can't with Mia here, so I just push the thought deeper into my mind for now. Not the time.