Love On Set - Florence Pugh

twenty six

September 23, 2019 London

The whole weekend with Florence passed quickly, but it was the best weekend I ever had. We spent it very homely and cozy, being together and doing couple things. I was so fucking sad when she had to leave me alone, but we didn't have a choice.

I didn't even once mention my mom, too afraid of her reaction when I finally reveal that I want to tell her about us. I hate sneaking out with her.

Fortunately, I didn't have too much to sulk about it because the next day, after my mom returned, I flew out to New York.

I spent almost the entire week back home and going from a meeting to a meeting. I think it went pretty well, everyone told me that they'll call if I got the job.

At least, they said that if they don't call in the next two weeks, I don't get the role. And till then, I spent the last week doing three things:

1. Spending my time in Flo's house or on some dates with her.

2. Making out with Florence in her trailer, while I'm on the set.

3. Talking with Mia or Rose when I'm alone in home.

Shooting is ending by the end of this month and I'm panicking so much. When I first kissed Florence, I was thinking about staying in London, so I could be closer to her and change my scenery a bit because England is very nice to life. But apparently, Florence isn't going to stay here too long after filming this movie, she said she has a house in Los Angeles and she's going to stay there after Christmas. She's also having a movie premiere around December, so she'll be traveling a lot.

Not to mention that all the projects that I tried for are filming in US. I won't lie, this changed a lot for me and got me thinking. I wanted to stay here, but it won't do anything good for us anymore. She also said that I shouldn't move out from my home just because of her. I don't agree with her fully, but I didn't see a point in arguing with here then and ruing our weekend.

But ten minutes ago, my mom told me that she bought the return tickets to New York to October 2nd. And now, I'm sitting on the floor in my bedroom, trying to regulate my breath as the tears stream down on my face.

It made me realize that we're going back home soon. I'll leave my girlfriend and go to live on a different continent. Without her. How the hell I'm supposed to get used to being without her after four months of almost seeing each other every day.

It's impossible.

And I can't calm myself about it now. That's why, I take my phone in hand and select Flo's contact name, desperately needing to hear her voice right now.

Flo: Hey, Isa! What's up?

Flo asks after picking up after a moment.

Me: F-Flo

I stutter quietly, fighting with my tears and gasping for the air.

Flo: Hey, why are you crying, baby? Is everything okay?

Me: I-I... I'm going back home i-in n-next week...

I trial off, sniffing loudly as I run my eyes angrily, trying to wipe the tears.

Flo: Oh...

She falls silent for a few seconds and I take a shaky exhalation, taking a deep breath.

Flo: No, no, it's okay. It's alright, we both knew that at the beginning, right?

She tries to calm me down and maybe her soothing voice helps me a bit because I can breathe more regularly now.