Anthony's Diamond (Anthony Bridgerton Fanfic)

32. And With That He Is Gone

  A wave of pure hatred drowns me as I see my fathers face. I notice that he looks more distressed over the loss of Stephan Chambers than he does his own wife. The fact that he is so lost, so blinded by riches that he isn't even showing empathy over the woman he loves breaks me. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him for this. I hate him for making me a murderer, despite the fact that is was Stephan who ran into my weapon. Through my sobs, through Anthony's strong arms I yell, my voice made of pure hatred.

  "You should have dragged her to a sanatorium long ago! She should have been over consistent watch! You should have given her the love I knew you had for her growing up, but you abandoned her! I should have been allowed to see her, to help her heal,  to give her the love she lacked from you. But you would not allow that, and now she is gone and I will never ever forgive you." I growl, scream, mourn, all of my anger, all of my distress and fear targeted towards him.

His face is colored a million different shades, his emotions unreadable. He looks like he is going to cry but not a drop of rain comes.

"What do you have to say about yourself for letting her die like this?" I yell once more, too angry with him, too desperately devastated by my mother to care about his sympathetic look in return.

"You care more of the money of a dreadful dead man than you do the life of your supposed true love is that is?" I continue to hiss, my voice stinging, tears burning my cheeks as they fall from my eyes. I want to strangle him, I want his ungrateful self to pass away just like the man he was wanting me to marry. If Anthony wasn't holding me down I wouldn't put it past myself.

I am incensed, more angry than I have ever been with anyone in my entire life. More angry than I was with Stephan when he hit me, more angry than I was with my father when he told me I was to marry Stephan. The sobs stop, the tears simply burn my face as they slowly pour down. But, bile grows up my throat as I feel sickened by the man in front of me- embarrassed, disgusted.

"I hate you!" I scream my hoarse voice coming out, "And I will never ever forgive you for what you have put our family through!" I pause for a minute letting a moment of silence stick in. Everyone is too shocked to speak the silence speaks for itself. I look over at Ryder, even he has some tears running down his face, mourning for our mother, missing the man our father used to be. I look behind me at Anthony, he looks more protective and nervous than I have ever seen him, but he also looks angry. It is only then that I realize i'm shaking, my tears turn into sobs and I embrace Anthony in a kiss. One to show me that somebody left on this earth still truly loves me.

  "I love you," I whisper to him under my breath and he says it back. Some may see this act inappropriate, but without it I would have drawn crazy.

  I then turn to my father, he looks angry but I don't give him room to speak have an opinion.

  "I will be marrying Anthony Bridgerton. From the blessing of Mother, I will be marrying the man I love. From now on you are dead to me. No woman has made this declaration before, so if you need manly declaration I beg of Ryder to be there for me. I cannot bare to live without the person I love, to live a life as pitiful as yours. As for you, I hope to never see you ever again. Take Mr. Chambers corpse out the door with you, I cannot stand the stench of disappointment," I hiss clinging onto Anthony.

  The room drops to silence. Father can only stutter as he tries to find a way to mend his damage. But the wounds are too deep, there is no healing the dagger he stabbed into my heart, into all of ours. He looks to Ryder, his son and is met with a frown brewed of true sorrow and disappointment.

  "You need to leave Father," He demands his voice stern, more assertive than I have ever heard, allowing me a sigh of relief. I cannot remember every word that just graced the room, lord knows I was speaking without thinking. Having Ryder on my side is more than I can ask for.