How The Hell Did We End Up Like This {Kellin Quinn}

Chapter 28

Rayleigh

Weeks passed. I was not only sleep deprived and paranoid, I was getting more and more depressed. Nothing seemed to make me happy, I continued online schooling and I haven't seen Sam or any of her friends or heard from them so I didn't quite understand why I couldn't get this feeling out of me that she was out to get me. Every night I'd lay awake trying not to close my eyes in fear that she was after me. I was on the brink of insanity, I knew it. I was slowly becoming more and more mentally unstable and I couldn't stop it.

Did I also mention how I felt utterly betrayed by my own family. I mean family is supposed to help family and apparently "they couldn't help me this time" so I found myself sitting in a waiting room. Of a well known psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Pitter, who, by the times I've seen her come out smiling and calling for her next patient, seemed like a generous, middle aged woman who just wanted to help the best way she could. I didn't want it. I could take care of myself! I didn't need some lady to confirm my suspicions of becoming a lunatic.

"Ray, we both know that this is for the best." My mother said flipping through a magazine as if it were a normal routine. She seemed totally unfazed by the whole situation and it made me angry. I didn't say anything as I had refused to speak for the last couple weeks. I'm pretty sure everyone in my house thought I had turned mute. Which wasn't a bad idea actually. The idea of never speaking again was music to my ear. Silence to my ears?

"Caleb Witser?" I look up and internally groan lolling my head back and slumping down. We've been here for nearly two hours because my mom said we should get there early before the appointment to find somewhere to sit. This place was fucking huge! "Lets get there to find somewhere besides the floor to sit." Sure we were in chairs, but to be perfectly honest she's the most successful psychologist in Michigan yet she can't afford comfortable chairs? I didn't like her already.

"It's not the end of the world Rayleigh we'll be up eventually." She said. I didn't even want to be here. I wasn't going to talk. I didn't need to talk to some stranger about my problems, or sit in an awkward silence with one. Forty-five minutes later, that guy, what's his name? Corey? Carl? Paul? Walked out smiling a little and there she was sticking her head out from the other side of the wall smiling widely.

"Rayleigh Matthews?" I stood up looking at my mom who was looking up smiling at me and urging me to go on and follow the lady and I obeyed walking through the door slowly and following a small hall down to her office.

"Have a seat hun." She said gesturing to the chair next to her desk as we walked in. It was dimly lit and had a comfy mood to it for some reason and I started to relax.

"So how are you today?" She asked crossing her legs over one another with a notepad on her knee. I wasn't talking, but the question still stumped me. How was I? I mean was I ok? Or was I hurt? Or sad? I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I was feeling anymore. I didn't feel anything. After about two minutes of silence she finally connected the dots and asked

"Do you talk at all?"

I shook my head slightly and she pulled out a whiteboard and variation of expo markers to choose from.

"I get mutes all the time, pick a color any color." She said sweetly. I was suddenly flared with anger at the mere mention of the word mute. I wasn't mute, I just couldn't find my words easily anymore. She won't understand. No one understands. Oh my god, I sound like a rebellious teenager! You don't understaaaannnndddd meh! Heh, I make myself laugh.

"Lets start with the basics since this is your first day." She said uncapping her pen and writing something down on the notepad before looking back up smiling.