Tell Me I'm an Angel (Frerard)

Private Angel Log Entry Twenty

Private Angel Log Entry Twenty

As I watched, the beam of light descending from Heaven widened in an ever increasing arch, until we were all bathed in its brilliant glow. I was forced to shut my eyes against the harsh glare, and when I could finally open them again, all fighting had ceased. Everyone's attention was now focused on the figuring standing in the center of the battlefield.

Even though we were some distance away from where God had materialized, we could still see and hear him clearly. God always appeared different to me every time I saw him, and today, he appeared in the form of a slender woman with flowing blonde hair touching her feet, and a stern expression on her chiseled face. I guess referring to God as them would be more appropriate, because God didn't truly have a gender - they were everything and nothing all at the same time.

"It's God..." Billie Joe gasped out, clutching onto my arm like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. I realized that this was his first time ever seeing God, since his entire existence before he had escaped with Brendon had been spent locked away, thanks to the archangels. I was tempted to ask how God appeared to him, but I couldn't seem to find my voice, so I remained silent.

"Who is responsible for this?" God asked in a calm tone of voice that carried over the entire battlefield. Even though the blinding light had faded away, God still seemed to glow with an inner fire, and small sparks fell from their hands and hair when they moved.

"My Lord, thank goodness you showed up." Oliver hobbled over to their side, still favoring the wing that Patrick had managed to cripple.

"I leave to visit another world for barely a year, and I come back to this chaos? Is this your doing Oliver?"

"No, of course not...Frank brought us here under false pretenses, I was just leading the army in your name until you returned," Oliver groveled pathetically.

"And when did I give you permission to do any such thing?" I could hear the suppressed rage in God's voice, and if I were Oliver, I would be shitting myself right now.

"Oh - um, well no one exactly, but I am the highest ranking angel, so I took the burden upon myself. We needed leadership when you left us..."

"And within that time, hundreds of my angels have deserted Heaven, and I find you throwing away countless more lives in a pointless battle that even I do not understand the purpose of." Oliver visibly flinched under God's harsh words, and I didn't blame him.

"This entire mess is Frank's fault, not mine. He sent out a forged missive from Lucifer, stating a declaration of war, and when we showed up, his band of rebels was already here, blocking our way and trying to convince even more angels to desert from Heaven," Oliver babbled, eager to pass the blame on to someone else. Usually, I would be furious with Oliver's cowardly mannerisms, but I felt nothing as he served me up before God - nothing expect the burning ache in my heart that I knew I would carry with me for the rest of my life.

"If Frank still lives, let him step forward," God commanded, and even though the last thing I wanted to do was move, I couldn't ignore God.

So I shakily gained my footing, keeping a tight hold on Gerard's body the entire time. He felt so light, and even though I should have been struggling under his weight, I found myself constantly looking down to reassure myself that he was still in my arms. With Billie's help, I managed to stagger my way over to where God was standing, keeping my head bowed so I wouldn't have to meet their eyes.

"I'm here Lord," I rasped out, my throat raw from my earlier sobs.

"Is it true that you orchestrated this clash between Heaven and Hell?" God asked softly, and I didn't hear blame in their voice, just curiosity. Usually, God knew all that resided on Earth, but when they left for other worlds, their sight became clouded, so they had no idea what had transpired while they had been away.