Tell Me I'm an Angel (Frerard)

Private Angel Log Entry One

This chapter is going to be from Frank's POV, just warning you guys :)

Private Angel Log Entry One

I have been an angel for ten long years now, and I have never had a use for this log all that time...until today, because before now, I have held no secrets close to my heart, no events that I could not dare to speak aloud, and yet they burned in their confinement, corroding away at me until they were released somehow. So I turn to the pen, since I am left with no other option.

Officially, I reported that I made contact with the demon I was ordered to kill, and I was not successful in eliminating my target. All of that is true, but it is not the whole truth.

I feel guilty for what I wrote in the official ledgers, but how was I supposed to explain my reasons for not being able to kill that demon? It will be interpreted as if he overpowered me and I fled before he could kill me...and I will let the others believe that for now.

Only Ray harbors suspicions that something deeper has occurred. He met me at the gates of the angel garrison upon my return, and he noticed how shaken up I was, but I brushed him off, telling him it was nothing and that I would be fine.

Another omission that chafes me, but it was necessary. Ray would not be able to comprehend my misgivings...he has been an angel for too long.

I don't even think I understand what came over me when I encountered that demon. He was nothing like my research had led me to believe.

For weeks now, I had been trying to find him, this new demon who was making such a name for himself. Barely a few months old, and he had already caught Heaven's attention.

According to the information our scouts had managed to gather on him, he was one of the best at what he did, and he had caused the deaths of hundreds singlehandedly. So the task of killing him was given to me, you might say demon slaying is my specialty.

I had prepared myself to face a fearsome foe whose heart was blackened and cruel, maybe that is why I was so shaken up when I laid eyes on that beautiful broken man.

In all my years, I had never seen a demon react to an angel the way he had. Every other one I had happened upon has attacked me on sight, trying to rip off my wings or deal a fatal blow before I could do the same to them, but this one just stood there...gazing up at me with those incredible hazel eyes so full of pain and remorse.

I was still prepared to kill him, no matter how he looked or acted, he had still damned all of those innocent souls to burn in Hell, but then he smiled at me...smiled as if he was relieved that I had come at last.

When he spread his arms wide and his face softened with an expression of peace, I knew I was lost. I was incapable of killing that man...even knowing what he was, I could not bring myself to do it.

I actually turned my back on him, the ultimate sign of trust an angel can give another being since it leaves our wings exposed and vulnerable. I waited for the tearing of claws and the blinding pain of his attack...but it never came.

When I glanced back at him, he was still standing there, looking so forlorn and lost, I yearned to fly down to him and hold him in my arms, but instead, I fled like a coward.

Now I cannot get that striking demon out of my head. Whenever I see a flash of red, my breath catches and my mind races, thinking it might be his startling hair, but it never is...

I don't understand what is happening to me. I have never had doubts before; angels are good, demons are bad, end of story, but now the world doesn't seem so black and white...and everything I once believed has been thrown out the window.

I plan my hunt for him in earnest now, no longer with thoughts of killing him in my head, but questions and curiosities. He will be much easier to track down now that I have sensed his aura, and I am restless to set off in search of him immediately. I want to discover more about this demon, and then I will decide when (and if) to kill him after that.

So I know I said this was mostly going to be from Gerard's point of view, but I decide to put some from Frankie's point of view to spice things up a bit.

Just warning you, updates are probably going to get slower from this point on, because this is all I had really pre-planned, but hopefully I won't make you wait more than a few days between each update. I am really falling in love with this story the more I get into it. Also sorry to my readers of WBOCC. I will try to put out an update tomorrow, I have been neglecting it because of this fanfic.

Keep it ugly :)

<3 star