Quiet | BTS ✓

22

When Yoongi sits down at the piano, he already knows what song he wants to play.

His fingers touch the keys and the instrument comes to life in his hands, playing the song that he's held in his heart since he came back here. He wrote this song after he had dinner with Hoseok and Aria, and tonight only makes him feel those emotions even more strongly than before.

The song he is playing tells his fear of losing everything he's gained. Before he came back, he was alone. So utterly, absolutely alone that the music couldn't even comfort him. But when he came back to his home, he not only got his uncle back, but he also gained two friends. Two friends he never thought he would have the privilege of knowing, and now that he knows them, he is terrified to lose them.

In such a short amount of time, these people have become such a pivotal part of his life; he no longer feels alone because he is no longer alone. That addicting, overwhelming feeling of being wanted and cared for is something that Yoongi cannot, and will not, let go easily. Not now that he has it after craving for such a feeling for so, so long.

But his fear is there, strong and unshakable. Because if the people who gave him life can give up on him so easily, who's to say that everyone around him won't do the same?

So this song, this secret, is Yoongi asking, begging even, for them not to leave him. He is begging them in his own way to stay with him because those people who he has grown so attached to are helping him to flourish for the first time in his life. His music, because of them, has never been more beautiful and more real. And he's terrified that if they leave him, they will take a piece of him with them and he will never be whole again.

He is finally the best version of himself after running away from what he truly wants, and now that he has it, he is holding on to it for dear life, desperate in his attempt to truly be happy for the first time.

All he has done his entire life is put everyone before himself. When he was a child, his parents were who he wanted to impress and he did everything he possibly could to make them proud. It was never enough for them, he could always be better; he could always go a step further in his parents' eyes. So when he had the opportunity to get away from that toxicity, he took it. But the way he did that only made things worse for himself because he, yet again, chose to dim his light so others could shine.

But not anymore. He is choosing how he wants to live his own life, and the fact that he has such wonderful people who want nothing more than to be by his side rather than dictate what he should and shouldn't do is something he will never fully comprehend. But it's something he will never let himself forget; not for a single moment.

Because he is terrified that these people will become memories; that they will walk away and leave him alone in his darkness again. And he would let them leave if they wanted; because he dims his light so others can shine.

Yoongi doesn't realize the silent tears sliding down his cheeks until he feels someone wrap their arms around him from behind.

He knows who it is; her touch has become something familiar and comforting to him. He continues the song, hoping that she can hear his desperation. If she can hear him, then she can understand him.

And all he wants is to be understood.

As he plays, Aria's arms don't move from their place, staying wrapped around Yoongi's torso as she lays her head on his back, comforting him as he plays what he's been keeping locked in his heart since he met his two friends.

He is tired of being alone; he thought he was okay with it for so long. Until he met Aria and Hoseok and they showed him what it's like to have friends; real, true friends. And the possibility of them realizing he isn't good enough to care for breaks his heart in immeasurable ways.

And the only way he can explain that fear is through his music.

Yoongi finishes the song, immediately turning on the bench and standing up so he can give Aria a proper hug as a 'thank you' for that embrace she provided while he played about his vulnerability.

She knew he needed that simple gesture to get through that song without completely breaking, and he needs her to realize how important that moment was to him.

He silently holds onto her for dear life, knowing he doesn't need to say a word. He never has to say out loud what he's thinking in these moments. She's always understood.

Aria's arms move to wrap around his neck and she stands on her tiptoes to bury her head in the crook of his neck, breathing him in and holding him securely in her grip.

He understands exactly what she's trying to say. He's always understood.

Yoongi doesn't know how long they hold onto each other. He loses track of time when he's around her. But they finally pull away from each other, her light blue eyes gazing deep into Yoongi's chocolate brown ones.

Aria looks at him with a concerned face, and Yoongi immediately wraps his arms around her waist and buries his face into the side of her neck. "I'm just scared that I'll lose you. And I can't lose you," he whispers into her hair.

Yoongi hears Aria sigh and she gently grabs his face, cupping it in her small, cold hands so he's looking into her eyes again.

He can see how desperately she wants him to understand what she wants to say. But she can't say it.

So she shows him what she wants him to understand.

Aria presses her lips onto Yoongi's.