Quiet | BTS ✓

49

Yoongi exits his car and walks through the blanket of snow on the ground, making his familiar trek to the music room to properly end one of the most memorable days he has had in his lifetime.

Memories of tonight's dinner flash through his mind, endless smiles and laughter filling his thoughts as he unlocks the music room door and lets himself inside. He knows that the perfect way to end such a beautiful day is to play his emotions out on the instrument that he considers more of a companion than anything else.

He's had such an incredible day, and he wants to tell the piano about it. He wants to tell the piano his feelings and hear them come to life into a beautiful melody.

He wants to make the piano sing with his happiness and the purity of tonight.

As Yoongi sits down on the ever familiar piano bench, his fingers immediately move to the keys of the instrument, as though his hands are drawn to it.

The once silent air is now filling with the sweet, familiar sound of music as Yoongi's hands dance across the keys, and his mind begins to wander to the emotions he wishes to portray.

To Yoongi, 'family' was not a word that brought him joy and comfort. He heard the word 'family' and immediately went to a dark place filled with unreachable expectations and emptiness. He remembers being so young and naïve, wishing more than anything to feel the warmth of his mother's cheek against his as they embrace or his father's hair tickling his chin as he sits on his shoulders. Instead, his childhood was filled with empty, broken promises and a future that he had no desire to fulfill.

Family dinners did not have laughter and jokes; they had business meetings and talks about the bright future in the business world for the boy who just wanted to play the piano.

Neither of his parents asked what he was thankful for. Neither of his parents would ask how his day went or what he wanted to do in life. Neither of his parents were ever proud of him.

Tonight's dinner was something Yoongi never expected to experience. There was nothing but warmth, laughter and happiness that made Yoongi feel free. He wasn't expected to sit up straight. He wasn't expected to recall the things he was forced to memorize for business meetings as a teenager. The people surrounding him at that dinner table tonight genuinely wanted him there because they enjoyed his company.

And as brightly as the moonlight is shining upon the snow outside, Yoongi's heart flourished into a bright beam of light, cutting into that seemingly everlasting darkness that seems to surround him when he hears the word 'family'.

After tonight, Yoongi knows what a real family is.

He knows he's part of one.

He's part of a family that expects nothing from him. This family only wants his happiness to shine freely and brightly as he does what he loves most. He's not being judged on what he cannot do; he is only being loved for who he is.

For so long, Yoongi was scared of the word 'family'. He was afraid that when he has a family of his own, he will only disappoint them like he disappointed his parents.

He was terrified of not being good enough.

But this family... he's more than enough for them. And all he has to do is be himself.

So though it is bittersweet that he will never have a dinner with his parents and his brother again, he knows that he is not alone anymore.

He has a family now; he has a true, loving family who accepts him as he is.

Hoseok's parents have never been obligated to treat Yoongi like a son, but they do it because they want to.

Yoongi's uncle didn't have to babysit him during those years as a teen and show him how to play piano, but he did it because he wanted to.

Aria and Hoseok didn't have to become friends with him, but they did it because they wanted to.

All of these people in Yoongi's life chose to be in it.

And to go from feeling like he would never be good enough due to parents that were never satisfied with his never-ending efforts to having five people choose to put him in their lives is a feeling that Yoongi can only describe as transformative.

It feels as if he has entered into a completely different life; it's a life he has always dreamed of having, but a life he never expected to have. As a child, Yoongi was filled with nothing but optimism and dreams of a happy family. He did everything he could to put smiles on his parents' faces because in his young mind, he just wanted to make them proud. But immeasurable attempts to please his parents going unnoticed and unappreciated broke Yoongi's spirit into shattered remnants of that optimistic and happy child he once was. And ever since he was broken that way, he never thought he would have a life worth living.

Now it is in his grasp, and not only is he holding onto it for dear life, but those people who have brought on this life changing moment are holding onto him as well. They are all holding onto him with their warm smiles and encouraging words, hugging him and proving to him that he is worthy of being loved.

He is wanted.

He is loved.

He is heard.

He is understood.

And that, above all else, is all he has ever wanted.

His hands lay still on the piano keys, and he basks in the afterglow of the piano's warmth as he looks out the window at the snow silently falling, illuminated in the light of the moon shining brightly in the sky.

Yoongi smiles at the sight... for he, too, is shining brightly.