random fics about youtubers i enjoy

Bad Idea

Kryoz x reader, angst and some smut. I will add a tigger warning because I can see how the smut part could trigger a sexual assault survivor (its not written as SA but the act of crying while in the middle of sex seems triggering idk though). You've been warned. And even though the whole point of angst is to not really enjoy, I hope you do enjoy?

Things had started out amazingly. We were two teenagers that didn't have lots of friends, but we had each other. Best friends until the foreseeable future. We got into so much shit together. The epitome of a rebellious teen phase. Our senior year we had decided that we'd be best friends for the rest of our lives. We got matching tattoos to drive that point home. If only things could have stayed so simple as we got older.

Somehow the man that was practically socially inept gained a multitude of other friends. He started dating. It felt as if I wasn't a needed part in his life, but we still found ways to hang out. At first it was nearly every day, then once a week, and now we meet up for dinner once a month. Even then we rarely get to sit down and eat, he was just always so busy. Which I understood, it was just heart wrenching to become obsolete to the best person in your life.

In our times apart I had grown to realize all too late that I might be in love with my best friend. Everytime I mustered up the courage to tell him, he'd start telling me about his new girlfriend. It was a never ending cycle. Everytime I had to listen to his new found love I would feel my heart wither away. As soon as I would arrive home I'd cry. At some point I had become numb to the feeling, especially since his relationships never really lasted all too long. I'm sure that today wouldn't be so different, we'll sit down to talk and he'll sit and tell me all about this new girl. I sigh as I look into the mirror, it somehow never hurts any less each time.

I quietly looked down at my jeans, I was nervous. We hadn't been able to catch up in three months. Which doesn't sound like long but that's the longest I had gone without seeing him. We weren't much for texting each other anymore either, I had no contact with him in so long. The sound of a chair scraping against the hard floor broke me out of my slight trance. My eyes snap up and I smile, "Hey, John!" His eyes were already trained on me, that familiar bright smile taking over his features, "Hey, (Y/N)! It's been a minute, huh?" I nod slowly, that same feeling of nervousness building inside of me. "Yeah, it's been too long, honestly." He nods in agreement and begins scanning the menu.

"So, how've you been?" I took a sip of my drink, maybe today was the day. I could finally tell him how I feel. "Well, as you know, I've been kind of busy lately." I nod slowly, he's the reason we haven't been able to meet up lately. Canceling last minute without much of an explanation. "I've met a girl." My ears start ringing, my heart shattering in an instant. I feign a smile, "Is that so?" He nods happily and sighs almost dreamily, "And I know what you're probably thinking," I can assure you, you do not know what I'm thinking, "But I think she's the one." I nod slowly, my smile becoming tight-lipped. He looks me in the eyes, a twinkle of excitement in his gaze. My heart melted, he seemed so happy. I sigh and a real smile takes over my features, "Well, I hope she is. You deserve that kind of love."

The rest of our meal consisted of him talking about nothing but her, her name was Emilia. I knew nearly everything about this woman by the end of our dinner. This was the longest and most detailed description of a girlfriend he's ever given me before, he really does love her. Apparently he had been so infatuated with her that he was spending every open moment he had with her, which was why he had canceled on me so many times. This caused a new type of pain within my chest. He was completely unattainable now, he was going to marry this girl. He even said he saw her in his distant future, I believed that he wanted that to happen. He was going to forget about me and spend the rest of his days with her, it was bound to become a reality.