Hi, it's back.
I've edited the whole book now. Some parts are the same but others are really different. The biggest one is probably that Gianni isn't a mafia boss. He owns a company that is based in weapon control. So he works with the mafia but is...
‼️TW: mentions of self harm, rape, and addiction. I will some up the scary stuff and the bottom and I will put '‼️' around the TWs
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~Gianni~
I step out of the room juniper is staying in, the room that I use when people I fuck fall asleep in my bed. I would wake them up but that would fuck up the whole point of aftercare.
One time I was hanging out with some of the men I work with and they were talking about their 'sluts'.
God I hate that word.
Anyways they said that they just leave right after they fuck her. I make them leave but that's after I make sure they are okay.
I may be using them for their body but no one should feel 'dirty' after sex. Well I hope they never do, but I know I always do. I know I used them and that makes me disgusted with myself.
It's better with men if I'm honest, it's almost easier. I like women more then men but men are just....... Like me?
I walk down the stairs thinking about the fact that a very pretty brown eyed someone is upstairs, asleep, in my house.
‼️ She wore short sleeves and shorts today. I don't think she thought I would notice the scars and the scabs on her body, but I did. It took everything in me not to say anything, I didn't want to trigger her. I know what it's like, I used to cut up my arms then I would pore anything that would make it sting onto it. I would also drink, smoke, and do some hard core drugs.
I've been 4 years clean from all of it, sometimes I drink and smoke a little bit but I no longer do it to feel nothing, it's just for fun now. Also those were never the worst additions of mine and i can control it now.
I hope she gets clean, and if she ever decides to tell me about it and wants my help, I will gladly give it.
It scares me that she has so much pain and I don't know where it came from. Mine I remember so vividly, the beating, the sexual assault, the yelling. All of it replays in my head over, and over again. ‼️
I got clean because I became addicted to working. So I built up a company that's soul purpose is to sell and manufacture weaponry. My company, angel, became so powerful that different mafias from around the world wanted to work with us. Downside is that now my company is not completely legal. Oh well.
Anyway.
I think I'm going to ask juniper to stay with me for her vacation, I don't want her to be in the fucking hotel alone. The sight of her in my clothes in the morning in going to the most beautiful thing I've seen.
My shirt buttons come undone under my fingers, the white fabric slipping off of the shoulder and onto the ground. Next I undo my dress pants and let those fall too. I stand in my cold room in only my boxers. I'm still a little bit hard from that hug.
