My secret lives

Chapter 15

He gives me a comforting smile and keeps holding my hand while gently caressing it as the doctor starts inspecting my wounds.

"That wound will need to be stitched up otherwise it'll open up again in no time" the doctor says while he starts preparing some stuff for the stitching.

Euhm okay I guess.

But then he starts taking out a needle.

"Nope" I say plopping the p.

He looks at me slightly annoyed.

Man I will kill you right now if if you don't start showing respect.

The man gulps seeing the look on my face.

"You can do the stitching but don't sedate me" I tell him determined.

He turn to look at me like I'm crazy.

"What" I spit out.

"You do realize-" he starts but I cut him off.

"I know it'll hurt" I say.

He looks at Vincenzo to get his approval or opinion, I don't really know nor do I care.

I just don't want the needle in my skin.

You can beat me however much you want, you can cut me, burn me, skin me, drown me,.. everything except for needles.

I've only had bad experience's with needles in my life.

I was walking home one day, to my mom when I was around 8 years old I think. My mom never had much money so we lived in a rundown home at the wrong side of town. I was walking home one day when some older men cornered me. They drugged me with needles and took me with them for around a week. I was drugged countless of times there and when I finally got out, I realized that my mom never tried to find me- she didn't even notice I was gone in the first place.

Well it's not like I can do anything about that but I think my...distaste from needles started there.

John drugged me and sometimes when his friends came over they did too. I was drugged when my mom was killed and I was drugged when he died.

I hate needles, I despise them.

Vincenzo tells the doctor to just do it without the sedation which he agrees to.

I'm told to lie down which I do as he starts doing some random shit I'm not interested in.

After a few minutes he announces that he's going to start and if I want to stop I just need to tell him.

"Okay" I mutter.

A sharp pain shoots up my head and I immediately feel blood roll down my head.

I hiss in pain and grit my teeth as a sharp headache takes over.

Atlas gently strokes my hands which are tightly balled into fists.

Shit this hurts.

I breathe heavily as I feel the tread twirl through my skin.

A small whimper leaves my mouth when we're halfway through the process.

Blood suddenly rolls down very quickly and lands in my eye.

I squeeze my eye shut, reach up and rub it.

My eye burns a little and I'm sure it's red from my blood by now.

Rubbing my eye only makes it burn more but at least it makes me think of something else than the pain in my head.

After a while I stop rubbing my eye and just leave my hand down and I look forward again.

I meet Vincenzo's concerned gaze but when he notices that I'm looking at him, he hardens his expression again. If you look close enough though, you can see that the concern is still there.

A sudden sharp pain appears around my wound and I slap the doctor's hand away while groaning.

"Fucking hell, be careful" I say annoyed while reaching up with my hand.

I feel around the wound and take the wrong stitch out and do it the right way.

He gulps nervously but nods his head while I lower my hand again.

I let him continue and when he's finally done, I grab a tissue and start wiping the blood off of my face.

When I think I have wiped all the blood away, Atlas points out that I haven't.

"Where?" I ask.

"There" he says pointing at my cheek.

I lift the cloth and gently try to wipe away the blood.

"Did I get it?" I ask after a few seconds.

He laughs a little, "No, there" he tells me, again pointing to the exact same spot.

I wipe a little harder now and he shakes his head no again when I stop.

I groan annoyed when he decides to take it over.

"Here let me do it" he says as he grabs the cloth out of my hands.

He gently lifts his arms while making sure not to scare me, I let him clean of the blood from my cheek before the doctors puts the bandaid on my head.

The doctor goes to talk with Vincenzo and Angelo but I don't pay any attention to that when Atlas asks me if he can give me a hug.

I look at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to say.

He looks at me and slowly reaches out his hands.

I don't say anything and let him gently pull me into a hug.

My head rests against his chest as his arms wrap around my body.

I'm tense and frozen but Atlas doesn't seem to care about that and just let's me relax into his hold over time.

My muscles start to unwind slowly and it's almost an instinct when I suddenly just know that Atlas is smiling and happy.

I'm not ready to hug him back yet but I don't think he seems to mind it when I nuzzle my head more in his chest and his arms tighten around me.

My eyes instinctively close as warmth and love tickles at my skin.

It's weird feeling so loved and connected to someone I barely know but I'm not complaining either.

It feels good, nice, like I never want this to end and when I'm starting to be more and more comfortable and feel ready to hug him back, the doctor informs me that I need to go get my scans.