Harmony in Chaos

f o r t y t w o |

-"We don't apologise for survival."

"There is a fire. A fire inside of me. That fire burns me. But it sets me free."

They asked you to say sorry because

They said it wasn't enough,

they said you weren't good enough,

they told you to try harder, and you said, "Okay."

And you tried and you tried, and you tried till the light inside of you died.

And they said, yes, I appreciate it, but this is faulty,

that should've been right.

And you look back, and see the work you've done,

And you look back and you see where you had begun,

And you think to yourself, "How many places have I run?"

and you wonder, "What more could I have done?"

You punish yourself,

you think you are not worth it,

You start to believe that you were wrong, you were always wrong,

Even though they don't know the half of what you've done.

So I say you keep your head up, your chin up,

Your heart strong.

Because you have to work at your own pace, your skills were your own,

they did not acknowledge the fact that you were not like them,

they were logical, you were creative, they were stereotypical, you were broad-minded, on integrity you were high, they were low.

so you go slow, as slow as you want to, you make progress,

it doesn't matter, how slow, you'll know, one day you'll glow.

And so I told you not to exert, and that's okay,

Because you don't strain too hard,

You don't push yourself beyond capacity to survive,

And We don't apologise for survival.

"I see the crack. That lonely crack on the floor. And I wonder if I am just cracked. Or similarly, completely broken."

They asked you to say sorry because

You were snappish and rude one day.

And they said you should be more careful, more polite.

They said you should understand more often.

Well, because you had been putting yourself in other people's shoes, you had been walking in their shadows, and dancing in their aurae, you had been thinking from their minds and hearts, you had been wearing their skin and walking.

Only just that all this time.

So when he was all annoyed and irritable, you bore, and you understood,

And you bowed, and you kneeled and you looked, pleadingly.

Pity he didn't see the signs.

Or he chose not to notice.

So you went on, and you pulled on, and you received his hurls.

And you pushed on, and crawled on, and received his harsh words.