Harmony in Chaos

s e v e n t y |

It's like a web, so black and dark,
It's like a cloud, so big and vast,
It's like a worm, with misunderstood motives,
It's like a home, that has me trapped and is ghast.
It's not a confusion it's just trying to fool me but it's definitely out of control and I don't know what to do and maybe it's hurtful and maybe it's painful but I'm trying to control it and for now that's all I can do so don't make me feel guilty don't hand me scissors to my soul don't teach me I have no right because you don't.
Don't tell me to pick myself up because that's what I'm doing don't tell me I'm fooling myself because that's what you're doing don't speak to me only when I'm needed because all I need is for somebody to know that I'm in need don't tell me what to want and what not to don't tell me it's your heart and you know too because if it were, then our blood would be the same and I would never share the same blood that ran in you. Don't screw me over and say it's okay because really what's to say when I can't see the light of the day don't. Just don't speak to me of what you feel because I know it what you don't know is the half of what I feel I'm not asking for you to I'm just asking you to, leave, me, alone, if there's no way you can help or nothing you can do.
Because I was there throughout and don't tell me everything I did didn't help and when you weren't there throughout everything I did for me didn't help so I need a me and don't blame me for wishing that because if you did feel what I feel you wouldn't be making me feel like crap.
Maybe you have a purpose but tell me how long it's been maybe you have a desire but how many wishes do I have to leave incomplete? Don't say that you will be there because you always are, you are there, Just never here but there.
So try not to do this to me despite everything that is happening to you because I can't write enough of How and how much I'm trying and I'm still crying but you won't attempt to save me while I'm dying when you claim to be there.
Who are you I don't know what you want I don't know but I'm trying I'm alive I'm starving but I'm alive and I'm burning but I'm not saying goodbye. So tell me you did think of all this tell me you fought against my Apocalypse and tell me that you're lying because if you don't it would be unbelievable and because if you're not then I wouldn't have turned into a monster myself I wouldn't be fighting against myself all I ask is for you to lend me a shield if you're on the other side of the battle with swords all I ask is for you to leave if you're on the borderline of frauds all I ask is for you to not be in my way because you came in here to help I don't see no sympathy and you came in here to breed love but all you feel from me is greed.
So thank you, really, thank you for all you've done but your services are no longer needed so while I'm saying goodbye I'd like to leave a piece of my soul wandering in your mind, I'll say
My heart is the doorstep but you've lost all the keys
My love is a fortress but you're sending troops to destroy,

And while I may be imperfect I'm always thinking on my feet,
So I'm already on the move, cause I know that you're a battlefield collecting your army to deploy.•

A/N-Spoken word. Someday, I shall say it. And someday, you shall feel it.