Harmony in Chaos

s i x t y n i n e |

I'm sorry I'm not enough and I'm sorry I won't be enough. I'm sorry that I'm trying and I'm sorry you think that I'm not. I'm sorry you have to put me through this and then feel bad that you are, so I can help you to feel otherwise. I'm sorry if everything I say makes it sound like it's your fault, but when you're too lost in what everybody else is saying and if after a while my words carry lesser weightage, then it's only partly my fault. I'm sorry you think I'm so bad and so mean and I've got such horrible qualities, but you see every time you say you love me I can't help believe it since I only believe those words when they come from your lips. Maybe that's my fault. Like all the bad times always are.
I'm sorry that I apologise so much and that's half of why I'm always so sorry. But you see, for you whenever you see me saying those words it's just another "Sorry" added to the pile that I've said to you, it's not an actual apology. But for me, they actually mean something, I apologise because some particular reason made me feel like saying that to you. It's not just another apology. I'm sorry that you only ask me what happened and don't try to make me feel better by doing whatever the hell is in your power. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I occupy so much of your mind space and that frustrates you, you've done very well to keep pointing that out to me, but really, I didn't ask for you to do that. I'm sorry that when I try too hard you don't want me to and when I stop for a while you wonder why.
I'm sorry that you think everything is about you.
I'm sorry for me. And I'm sorry for you.
And yes, this is an apology.
My one request for you that you can choose or not to ignore, is please don't add this to one of your piles. It's not, it means something. Please?

-A/N/. Sorry guys, I know I haven't been around much. But I'm back. And I will update regularly. In fact, I'll upload a bunch right now cause a beautiful person reminded me that people on here need me. And she's right. So here am I.
Having a good day yet, love?