Bad Habits

27

I feel as if I am inside of a black cloud, nothing to see, nothing to hear, only this heaviness weighing down my whole body. I'm not exactly sure if I am attempting to open my eyes or not. Do I even remember how too? Then I start to hear noises buzzing from some sort of machine, someone's feet clicking near me, as well as quiet talking. I lie perfectly still straining to hear and make some sense of it all.

Murmurs, blurred murmurs is all it is. I have no idea what words are being said. I am too tired to try hard enough to listen closely and to understand. Where am I and why?

After a while I feel some light shining on my closed eyes, a faint pink glow. I struggle to open them. Success. I am inside of a bright white room. I notice someone bending over me, he says my name..and again. I try to remember how to talk but no words come. I blink hard and again he calls me. I attempt an answer once more suddenly clearing my throat. It feels as if I am about to shout but all that comes out is a tiny whisper.

"What are you doing here?"

He calmly runs his hand through his lavish and very cared for dark hair pushing his waves back from his beautiful face. The creased lines when he forms a sly smile speak elegance. His dark eyes are warm and inviting but I know better now.

"Apparently I got here at the perfect time wouldn't you say sweetheart?" He smiles.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

He reaches his hand to touch my cheek softly. When his warm soft fingers caress my cold cheek the familiarity of his touch somewhat eases me making me irritated. I quickly pull away from his hand. He pulls it back into his lap opening what looks to be like my chart.

"Well, I operated on you of course and saved your life." He states proudly.

"Ok but why are you here?" I insist.

He sighs, "Amelia, we're engaged to be married. I wasn't not going to come."

"Josh, I left you and moved here three months ago so why are you now just showing up?"

"You needed some time and I gave it to you, now we can move on." He states easily.

Knock..knock..knock..

"Where is the legendary couple?" My mother walks in with a smile on her face.

Joshua gets up from where he is seated on my bed and hugs my mother. My father is behind her quickly shaking his hand. I can hear my parents congratulating him on a successful surgery on his first day on the job.

"You're staying?" I blurt out.

"Amelia." My father commands.

"You are all delusional." I continue. "You gave him a job here knowing I broke off the engagement." I say to my father.

"That was in the past during a silly façade of yours, we are all moving on from it now and Joshua is happy to be here and finally with you again, not that he had hoped to see you for the first time inside of his OR saving your life because of your stupid brother's drunken behavior." He responds.

"Honey." My mother quiets him.

"Where is Louis? I need to talk to him." I look between them all.

"I sent him home to sleep it all off." My father says.

"Dad we aren't little kids anymore!" I yell out in irritation.

"Well, I can't tell, you both are acting like children!" He yells back.

Josh pushes my father back from me a little, diminishing the building tension.

"Uh she really needs to rest. I want to keep her overnight to monitor her, after surgery protocol and all. We'll have lunch tomorrow and talk some more." He tells my parents.

I breathe a sigh of relief once they leave the room. I start to feel some pain in my side where I assume is where I was cut. Josh walks over lifting my gown to check my wound.

"I'll send the nurse in with something for the pain. It's going to be sore for a few days and I would take it easy for the next week or so. No heavy exercise or lifting." He says after bandaging the wound.

"Um..thank you Josh..really." I say sincerely.

"It's the least I could do right?" He says sadly.

"Josh.."

"No Mia, please..just don't say anything.." he sits on my bed again placing his hand over mine.

He continues, "I messed up ok and what I did was unforgivable, clearly. When you left everything was wrong but I gave you your space and now I am here begging you to let me make it up to you."

Looking into his eyes I allow myself to look back into our relationship. It was good and we were it. We were we. We were the power couple. We had good times and everything was how it should be, except it wasn't, not like how it is with Niall. With him everything is a mystery, with him my heart feels like it is on fire, it feels like the wrong kind of right and it's pure magic.

"You don't have to say anything right now, or even tomorrow..just when you're ready, but I am here and I am not going anywhere. I'm working here and am staying at the hotel across the street for now. Get some rest, I'll check on you tomorrow before lunch." He stands and bends over to kiss my head.

I watch him walk out of my hospital room leaving me alone in my now crazed and confused thoughts. Weighing the pros and cons of this all is making my head feel as if it will explode. I can't think of any of this. I need to see him. Why is he not here? His blue eyes drown my mind in a peaceful comfort, easing me back into a much-needed sleep.

Niall's POV

There are moments when you are going through a crisis and time stands still, except it doesn't. It goes on and you are stuck sitting there unknowing of what is around you. Still, sometimes we have to do things for ourselves. We have to make mistakes and learn from the lessons. It's the way of life.

"Mr. Horan he is ready for you."

I blink my thoughts away and look up to the smiling blonde waiting to see me back. I follow her down the short hall and in front of a double door office. She opens the door for me to enter but doesn't stay. I take a deep breath before taking a step inside. The envelope in my hand feels like a brick weighing me down. I can feel my beating heart inside of the drums in my ears. The balding man behind the brown wooden desk waits for me to take a seat in front of one of the leather chairs in front of him. The golden name plaque in the center of the front of his desk reads Jeffery Miller.

"Mr. Horan what can I do for you?" He smiles.

"Niall..call meh Niall, Mr. Horan was meh da."

"All right then Niall, shall we get started?"

I hesitantly place the envelope onto his desk. He furrows his brows a bit in confusion I'm sure. He reaches for it taking the money that is in there out and counting it. He lets out a sigh before scratching his head in thought.

"This is only half of a fourth of what you owe Mr. Hor..Niall."

"Look, I kno dat ok? It's all I half..if I can get a little more time I can get more and with even more time I can get it all..I just need some time..please?"

"You've had time son, I'm sorry."

"No! No please! I'm beggin ya fer a bit more..please..I'm workin on gettin da rest just please.." my voice cracks.."please.." I whisper. "I can get it."

I watch as he pulls open his desk reaching for a small object. A stamp. He slams it on top of the foreclosure letter revealing big red letters that read, EXTENDED. A sigh of disbelief and relief escape from me.

"Tank ya so much..tank ya.."

"I can only give you three more months Niall. That's it. I've pulled all the favors I can for you. Don't let it go to waste." He says seriously.

"I won't..tank ya."

Once I am inside of my car I get excited and the first person I want to see is her except then I remember I can't. I remember how she has lied to me. I never expected this, not from her. Now I remember another reason as to why I don't open up to anyone. Opening up allows you to be hurt. She is engaged. She is taken and not by me.

"Not by meh.."