Bad Habits

34

"God what is taking so long?" I whisper aloud before finishing the water inside of my cup.

I look around at the few people inside of the small kitchen. I think of how easy they make it seem to be joyful. They make it look so easy to not think of what is really worrying them in life or maybe they don't have worries but I of all people know that isn't true. Everyone has a worry some just know how to hide it better. I look for my phone inside of my purse but as I reach for it I realize I don't even have it. I must have left it inside of his car.

"Damn."

Well, I might as well go out and get it. It beats sitting inside of this small spaced kitchen worrying of what is happening between both of the men in my life that I care for. I head through the dying crowd and out of the front door. Once down the front steps I notice a lot of the cars that were parked are gone making the walk to his black car seem further than what it actually is.

I listen to the gravel crunch beneath my boots as I step. A slight midnight breeze spurs passed me bringing me to close my leather jacket tighter around my now cold body. I sigh as I reach his car forgetting how it is probably locked. I peek inside of the driver's seat window seeing it luckily unlocked.

"What do you know? Something can go my way after all." I continue to talk aloud to myself.

I sit inside of the car closing myself from the cool breeze outside. I reach over the center console to the passenger's floor side feeling around for my purse. The moon being behind me does little to support any light inside of the vehicle leaving me stuck in the dark. I finally grab hold of something that doesn't feel anything like the wristlet clutch that I am looking for.

I sit up turning toward the light of the moon to see the already opened envelope inside of my hand. I remember the gold color of it the first night I really had any kind of encounter with him, the night he forced me to ride with him when he raced. This has to be the same envelope the other guy had handed him after he won the race, the one he wouldn't tell me of.

I lean over to drop it where I found it but my curiosity reaches the better part of me. I sit back up pulling out its contents carefully, even remembering the way it is all folded and in what direction it is placed. My timid fingers unfold each crease slowly bringing the letters on the paper to life. It is in small print in one section of the entire paper..

Congrats Horan. Will call you soon.

"Hmm.." I sound out to no one.

This person knew he would win that race. Call him soon for what? What could this be about? I have no on earthly idea. I know absolutely nothing about his personal life that will help me figure this out. "This isn't anything for you to figure out. Stay out of it." My conscience is loud.

The sounds of two fingers steadily tapping against the glass window make me jump back in shock. I quickly fold the creases of the paper back into the envelope and throw it to where I found it. When the driver's door springs open it sheds the much-needed light to find my purse. I reach for it before looking up to meet the soft blue eyes of my one and only brother.

"Jesus Louis you scared me." I say breathlessly, clutching my bag to my chest.

"What are you doing?" He asks skeptically.

"I just came out to grab my phone to call.." I stop myself mid sentence realizing what I was about to say.

My heart stops all together at the look on his face. Things couldn't have gone well. I can feel the words inside of my throat coming up as puke at what's next. His sudden smile throws me off guard stumping me further into the seat.