Bad Habits

40

The light tapping sounds throughout the too warm office. I stare at the closed blinds across the room from behind my too neat desk, the golden rays of light trying hard to beam through the cracks. I am thinking, except I am not. Thinking is running through my mind. What am I thinking of? My thumb is beginning to ache with the steady and constant movement of the pen against the mahogany wood. My heart is beating to the rhythm of the black cool stick that is now only halfway filled with ink.

Suddenly a shrilling noise makes me lose concentration, the pen falling against the surface, the somewhat comforting sound it provided coming to an unpleasant end. I shakily reach for the phone bringing it to my waiting ear.

"Yes?" I don't recognize my own quiet still voice.

It's Annie. "Dr. Tomlinson, your next appointment has arrived." She informs.

"Send them in please.." I voice.

I reach for the file to the right of my desk opening it, my eyes grow wide. I have very little time to react when my office door is opened and he strolls inside.

"Amelia."

I stand quietly, "Joshua.."

It's been a while since I have seen him. I didn't think he would stay in town much longer. His graceful hair is brushed back from his face, his masculine features sharp and elegant. His tan skin glows against the white button up he is wearing. I can see his collarbone slightly through the two undone buttons. His fitted dark blue slacks hug his thighs nicely. I gulp at the unexpectedness of his visit. His dark eyes are amused as he moves to sit in one of the chairs in front of my desk.

I finally find my voice. "What are you doing here?"

I remember the night of the last time I had seen him. The night he was overly drunk and violated me. I haven't seen him since I left him hurting on the staircase to my house as I left with an angry Niall.

He fakes a pout, "Mia this is the only way I can get you to see or talk to me.."

I stand against sitting down. This isn't a visit I want to partake in longer than I have to. I'm on edge with him here, all though I am more than sure he wouldn't do anything like that again completely sober.

"I needed to see you..I want to apologize for being the worst man in the world..for potentially hurting you.." He says sincerely.

He continues, "I have done a lot of wrong between us in this last year and I regret it all..I love you Amelia Tomlinson and I see that now..I just need you to forgive me."

I blink. I sigh before taking my seat, "Josh it's a little too late for that. When I left you, I meant it..besides I am in love with someone else.."

He laughs a laugh filled with annoyance, "You're not serious Mia, have you seen him? You are a doctor of science for the mind, you are successful and elegant..you are way out of his league.."

I'm irritated and defensive, "Leave it to you to judge a book by its cover Josh, you don't know him..he deserves me more than you ever did."

"What is your father going to think of this?"

It's like a brick inside of my stomach. I knew this would have to be known sooner than later. My father is one of the hardest men to please, but I love him and I would hope his love for me would overpower his need for me to live the perfect life; his perfect life.

"You haven't even told him yet, have you?" He is reading me like a book.

He smiles before standing, leaning over my desk looking down at me. "I'm not going anywhere Amelia, I'll be here when things don't work out..because it won't, he isn't long term material and I know you know that..I'll see you soon baby."