Bad Habits

28

It has been one week. It has been a whole week since the incident. A week since I left the hospital, a week of no work or any sort of activity. A week of my parents and Josh coming and going, feeding me, watching me like I am a child in need. It has been one week since Louis has decided to "work" from sun up to sun down leaving no time for him to come see or talk to me. One week, that is seven days, one hundred and sixty-eight hours, ten thousand and eighty minutes, six hundred and four thousand eight hundred seconds since I have seen or heard from him, him being Niall.

The loud humming of the blow dryer silences as I shut off the switch. I brush my now semi static hair around with my fingers attempting to tame it in some sort of way. I move around my bathroom slowly not wanting to make the soreness from my wound any more noticeable than what it still is. I slide into my navy blue dress. I reach my arm behind me as far as I can to zip it up. After three tries of an attempt I realize I am going to have to stretch more to finish zipping it closed but to do so I will be stretching my sore wound.

"Damn it."

"Let me.."

I look into the mirror seeing his dark and wanting eyes. I don't say a word as I watch him lift his hand slowly, finding the zipper easily. He moves it upward slowly. His voice breaks the silence.

"I still think you should rest a few more days."

"I can't Josh, I won't. I need out of this house. I need to work." I say beginning to apply some mascara.

I hear him sigh out, "Well, I made some breakfast if you'd like to join me?"

"I don't want to be late." I reply.

"Amelia, five minutes that's all I am asking."

I finally nod receiving a smile from him in return. I follow him out of the bathroom and down the stairs slowly to my kitchen. The smell of bacon is strong emitting a loud growl from my stomach. I take a seat on one of the stools in front of the breakfast bar. I watch as he easily moves throughout my kitchen finding things easily. He layers my plate with eggs, bacon, and a pancake remembering I only always eat one.

"Thank you." I say sincerely.

He laughs lightly while pouring me a glass of orange juice. "It's only breakfast Mia."

"Yeah, well you've been doing it all week along with lunch and dinner..you didn't have to."

"I wanted to." He says simply.

I start to eat without another word. Josh being here all week has only complicated things more for me. I don't need him here but I am also not exactly telling him to leave. I can already feel the headache coming on from thinking of this mess so much. If I could only get Louis to answer my calls so I can talk to him about Niall everything will be fine. I need to see him. He is only staying away out of respect of Louis and I admire him for it but enough is enough.

"I have to go." I say after some time.

"Just take it easy please, and if you start to feel pain come home and rest ok?" He says worried.

"Ok, well..I'll see you." I make my way to the exit wanting to avoid an even more awkward goodbye.

Twenty minutes later I am walking into my office feeling more at home than my actual house. I smile seeing my friend behind the receptionist's desk. Her face lights up when she gets off of the phone.

"Hey you're back! How are you feeling?" She asks.

"I'll be fine." I say honestly. "Who do I have today?" I ask changing the subject.

She searches her desk for a paper. Once she has found it she hands it over to me letting me know my first appointment is in about ten minutes. I walk over to my office getting my things ready and settling in. I stop at my desk suddenly hanging on to the edge of it. I try to ignore the sharp pain in my side taking a few deep breaths.

I reach for my bag looking for my pain meds and a bottle of water sitting on my desk. I gulp it down hoping it will take immediate effect.

"Are you sure you should be back here?"

I turn at the sound of his voice. His concerned brown eyes step toward me helping me to my chair. I wave him off trying to make it seem as if I am ok.

"Liam, how have you been?" I smile.

"I should ask you the same?" He laughs.

"I'm fine, I just really needed to get back to work is all." I say.

"Right. Well, I'm glad you're on your feet again."

"Yeah, me too. Let's get started."

I set the timer and take out my notepad as I listen to his current thoughts. He is more cheery than normal but it does little to hide the sadness inside of his eyes. Whatever it is that is distracting him a bit from what's really bothering him is only temporarily and that concerns me a bit.

"Listen you're happier than normal right now and that can make you feel like everything is going to be ok and maybe it is but Liam please trust me when I tell you that even though things seem up at the moment I still strongly encourage you to come to terms with whatever that hidden problem is. You still need to confront it. It's not just going to go away, it will always be there with you until you come to peace with it."

I watch as he fiddles with his hands inside of his lap. I notice the grease stains meaning he was working at the shop. Niall comes into my mind. It's inevitable. I wonder if he is there at this very moment. What is he doing? Is he thinking of me? Does he miss me as much as I have been missing him?

"I can't..I can't think of it..not yet." He whispers out.

"..and that's ok. We will get there, I promise. I'm here to stay, ok?" I ensure him.

The timer sets off changing the mood inside of the room. He lets out a breath of air before standing quickly onto his feet. I too mimic his move but stand too quickly falling back into the seat and grabbing onto my aching side.

"Ahh.." I yelp out.

He is quickly at my side. "You should really be in bed still."

"No, I'm fine." I insist.

"..but you're not Mia."

"Liam..is..is he there? At the shop?" I ask breathlessly.

"Niall?" He asks confused.

I nod in confirmation.

"I don't think it's a good.."

"No, please..I need to see him." I try to stand.

"Mia I really think that you should rethink.."

"Please! Please I need to do this." I plead.

I watch as he thinks it over for a few minutes. When he sighs out I know he's made his decision. He points behind him toward the direction of where the shop is.

"Behind the shop is his place, he should be there."

"Thank you, thank you so much." I step toward him to give him a hug.

The key to happiness a lot of the time is letting each situation be what it is instead of what you think it should be. Those words are smart to live by, I use them frequently with my clients but in this very moment all of it is out the window. I hear my own steps on the creak of the wood up each step. The black self-painted door gets closer and closer making my heart beat with anxiety.

You don't always know what will be behind the door but most of the time you knock anyway or just walk through and whatever is waiting behind it will either be for the worst or be for the best. I reach my shaking hand up, knocking gently at first. I think I hear rustling around so I knock a little louder.

Anxiety soon crashes over me leaving my every waking thought consumed with this worry. Soon, what was once seedling of a problem blossoms into a sturdy oak tree of deep worry. My jaw clenches and palms drench in moisture as I hear his loud steps on the other side of the door. The piece of wood swings open leaving me directly in front of those all too blue eyes.