Breaking point

Chapter 48 - Break The Cycle

As many people know there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Akilina had been threw all of them. It was a long process, many punches were thrown and many tears were she'd. But one day she woke up feeling almost lighter, like everything wrong was just a little less heavy, or maybe she was getting stronger, hardening.

Missions were well, as well as murdering people can be. At home she was mostly ignored. She didn't mind it all too much. Akilina liked being on her own. Just Akilina and the voice in her head, who she had named kat. Kat had been named from yekaterina. One of Akilinas aliases that she remembered.

Akilina remembered a lot of things. Faces, some of which she could put names to, and some of her past. She remembered being taken to hydra. Meeting a man there, she got sad when she thought of him. Akilina remembers leaving.

Escaping hydra.

Even the thought of doing that made her shiver. Hydra may be 'bad' and cause her pain, but they never left her. Their even teaching her how to protect herself.

They'd never leave.

And that was enough for her. She'd never leave, even if she wanted to, she couldn't. They've done so much for her, not leaving is the least she can do.

Right?

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"He'll never get out. He's gotten life. His life is over, you know that right?"

"Is it over? Or is Akilinas." Natasha finally snapped.

"Nat-" Clint spoke gently.

"Am I wrong?"

"No. "

"She was what five? Six? And now she's dead and she'll never know who her mother is. I'll never get to be a mother.

Bucky never got to tell her that he was sorry, and he wasn't leaving her. She'll never know how hard we tried to find her.She'll never know how loved she was clint, she will never know" her voice as powerful as it was progressively started shaking. Tears burning her eyes.

"She knew, she knew nat."

"how, how could she know?"

"sometimes people just do, I choose to believe that, you should too."

Nat went quiet after that.

She was getting soft.

She was marble, not glass.

This could not and would not break her.

Clint knew that this was nat processing her emotions.

Her and bucky had that in common.

When their minds got too loud they go quiet.

Bucky kept things inside his head, using them when he needed. Turning pain into power. Its what he was trained to do, and he'd keep on doing it.

It made things easier for him, to a point.

What made things harder everyday was fish. Akilina's little toy bear. It was in bucky and nats apartment. He walked by it everyday, and every time it was as if it was chipping at the walls inside of him, breaking down the dam holding back floods of pain and suffering.

He was getting soft.

He was a soldier, not a man.

This could not and would not break him.

Later that day, when natasha came home the pair sat in the kitchen in silence. It was a bad day for both of them and they were wallowing in it.

At least they weren't alone.
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She could make out little of the shouting coming from her instructor.

"быстрее" (faster)

And faster she went. Bullets flying deadly close to the small girl as she ran avoiding the obstacles.

(a/n look up at the top)

As she gracefully back flips dodging bullets she is completely unaware of the person watching her intently. She clears the course without a single scratch.

"1 minute 12 seconds. You seem to beat your scores everytime you do the course" the onlooker reveals themselves.

She nods in acknowledgement.

"I think she's ready. Do you?" the man looks to 'the handler'.

"I believe so."

"hmmm"

Doctor Fedorov. Hydra. High ranking. Even more so than the handler. Though I believe madame B, you remember her? I believe she is higher ranking then him.

The man, doctor Fedorov, walks menacingly towards Akilina a smirk clear on his face.

"Let the real games begin."

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"Your doing what?"

"she's ready."

"says who?."

"me"

"your really doing this. Now?"

"she's ready."

"No. No she isn't."

"we'll see."

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Akilina was in her room lying stomach down on her bed drawing. She was drawing the Dock she likes to go to when she misses cam, or wants to get away in general. Having her windows open she could hear the sounds of cars coming towards her house. Looking out the widow she saw 3 black vans and a dark suv.

What the fuck.

Hydra.

Most likely.

They pull up to the house and shawn greets them respectfully.

Hydra

A few minutes later she hears Sarah shout for her. "Kaylee dear, come down stairs. "

Akilina slowly makes her way downstairs, her heart thumping in her ears.

"Ah soldier, nice to see you again" doctor Fedorov speaks unusually happy.

She didn't even see him come in.

Akilina shows no emotion, she's learned by now that hydra does not like emotion. She simply nods.

"We should get going, long drive. "

Fedorov, shawn and Sarah all shake hands before the doctor heads towards the door. Stopping before leaving he turns.

"Come child."

What?

She walks towards him, following him outside. One of the guards pours something on a small white cloth.

Chloroform

They walk over and place it over Akilinas mouth and nose until she eventually passes out. Loading her in the van they begin their drive to the jet where she'll be taken across the world to a base she's all familiar with, and isn't particularly fond of.

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"And where is the asset?"

"In transit, sir, and heavily sedated."

"good, good, keep it that way. I want her in a cell when she wakes up."

"yes, sir"

_________________________________________

When Akilina woke up she immediately got flash backs. She was in an empty grey cell. The vast difference in temperature made her shiver slightly.
She was back in her hydra uniform.

Akilina was back.

Back where she started.

Although everything was different, the location, her, it was as if nothing had changed at all.