Breaking point

Chapter 52 - Paradox

Akilina was exhausted, training was nonstop, she almost forgot what that was like. Akilina woke up, fought, trained, learned, fought, trained, slept for two three hours if she was lucky and repeat. Getting food here and there, having to ration her water supply. It was taking a toll on her physically, but she could get past that. Keep pushing. Break the limits her body could go to until she dropped. Physical was easy to deal with, it was mentally where she struggled.

Akilina was blank. As if she had so much emotion and so little understanding it all moulded into a sort of numbness. Akilina would wake up in cold sweats, shaking from haunting dreams and simply lay there in her bed panting. Scolding herself when she felt an inch of self-pity.

You do not deserve to be pitied. You are a monster.

Akilina was in pain.

She was fighting a civil war in her own head. You could see it in her eyes, if you looked past the dull and tired look of someone who has been through too much you can see the raging war beneath. One side battered and bloody holding on as best as it could drowning in guilt and betrayal, the other side cold and ruthless. Dangerously reckless.

Her parallel.

Her personality clashing.

The monster her mind had created to protect what was left of akilina, and her innocence, the untouched or unscarred version of her that was still trying. Clawing its way planting doubts in the lies people have told her.

The violent battle raged on, and she stayed balancing on the edge, walking the tightrope, on the verge of hitting her breaking point. Who knows which side will be victorious in their efforts of control, but you'd be dammed sure the aftermath would be carnage.

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"We should request her back, she is property of the red room, my property. She should be here where I can train her."

"Good look trying for that, Im pretty sure they'll let her back with the other widows when their sure she wont interfere with their brainwashing."

"Bullshit."

"What can you do, they've their own way of thinking down there. "

"They are all incompetent idiots with no experience. They will lose her or worse kill her."

_________________________________________

"You want to what?"

"Put her back with the widows."

"no"

"She can continue the winter soldier training and practicing her enhancement in that base."

"It's not secure enough."

"Well make it secure."

"No"

"Its not-"

"NO"

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The doctor took the needle from her arm, taking her blood. She'd been givin a lot of pills lately Akilina just assumed it was another expirement, nothing of significance.

The pills made her feel funny. In one word, fuzzy. Sometimes she felt energetic, other times down right depressed.

It had been a while since she had been on a mission. Akilina was hoping one would pop up soon, she was itching to get out of the base. Just to stretch her legs in a place that wasn't here, surrounded by the same walls, day in and day out. Akilina enjoyed her time in the forest. Though it did bring back memories of her mission to retrieve Zoya.

Thinking of Zoya brought up many things like questions, why was she different to the rest of the girls? When the other girls got sliced by a knife in a way that would definitely scar they got sent out to get it fixed. Akilina was told to deal with it, and the scar. All the girls were told they we're marble. But none of the rest were as cracked as she was. Not in a mental sense but a physical one. Mentally all the girls were beaten and broken. However physically Akilina had enough scars for a life time.

Where did all the older girls go? There was older classes in the other base. Why aren't they here too?

Why did Zoya run? How did she do it?

So many questions going unanswered . Questions weren't the only thing thinking of Zoya brought up. Memories too.

"I like stars" Zoya whispers to Akilina. The room dark and quiet. Both girls handcuffed to their beds.

"Why?"

"They are pretty. Little nighlights for the sky when it goes dark. S-someone told me once that they help guide the sun back to the sky."

"I like stars too."

Akilina was falling to deeply into her head. She didn't even notice the the loud whine the door made when it opened. Or the sound of heavy boots coming towards her. Or someone calling her. Akilina's head snapped to the side stinging. Her instincts went immediately into fight mode, but she knew better. That's a fight she couldn't win. Doctor Fedorov grabbed a fist full of her hair and started dragging her all the way to his lab.

She sat restrained to the chair, getting picked and prodded at until the doctor came over with a drink.

"all of it"

Akilina downed the liquid. A few seconds later she felt something ignite inside of her. Like a fire. She was burning.

Was Akilina on fire?

It burns.

She was on fire Akilina was sure of it.

Make it stop.

I'm dieing.

I'm burning.

Turn it off.

"look at the screen child."

What screen?

There's no screen.

Just fire.

Akilina was pulling on the restraints now. Her eyes blurry, a matalica taste in her mouth. The monitors in the room going off as her heart rate climbed. She was sweating.

It was all fun and games until she broke a restraint.

I need out.

It burns

Get OUT.

Panic set in the chests of all the doctors in the roo as a second restraint broke. Metal flying to the floor. People scurrying to find a sedative.

Out.

Out.

Out.

Doctor Fedorov grabbed a needle, a sedative, and plunged in into her neck.

It didn't work right away. By the time in did she was half was done breaking a third restraint.

The doctor turns to look at everyone in the room.

"well, I think it's working no?"