HER /ryeji

thirty one

"Well, nice to know my crush likes my waffles." 

Ryujin freezes at hearing the word "crush". Her heart is going round, and round and she tries to focus her attention straight on the girl sitting in front of her. She knows those are just words to Yeji. Ryujin doesn't want to be greedy with this. 

"Your crush as in Soo-"

"-You." Yeji cuts off the sentence rolling from the blue haired's mouth, not wanting the younger to complete the name. "Ryujin, I like you. For a while now actually." 

Fidgeting with the hair tie on her wrist, the artist opens her mouth to say something but closes them back before opening her mouth again. "Y-you're just saying that." 

"Shin, why the hell would I just say that?" The older laughs in a quick manner, trying to hide her nervousness and frustration. 

"But you like him and not me. I even asked you about your love life and-" 

The silver haired female crawls on the bed to move closer to her, making sure to not step on Ryujin's ankle. She stops once reaching her destined place, sitting cress crossed beside the blue-haired. Her hand rests on top of the younger, causing the younger to stop fidgeting and grabbing her attention onto her. 

"I wasn't too sure of my crush until I kissed you and I was honestly scared; I needed some time to figure myself out." Yeji laughs at the thought of her doing late night research on whether she was gay. "I apologize for being confusing to you. Kissing you out of nowhere and then going to another person." 

Ryujin looks up from their hands, her eyes meeting with a specific pair that resembles a cat.

"And I know this is a bit overwhelming for you, believe me." The older softly says, a look of sincerity in her eyes. "Especially because all our lives, we were always enemies and you're probably infatuated with somebody already because look at you. You're so social, an amazing artist and one of the most beautiful people I ever laid my eyes on." 

The artist is bouncing off clouds at the words coming from the model. She feels so happy and a warm feeling in her stomach is starting again. However, the fact of Yeji's career getting jeopardized right now is holding her back. 

This isn't supposed to be happening. Ryujin doesn't want the older to regret anything in the long run and as much as it pains her—the blue haired thinks this risk of dating Yeji is something she isn't ready for. Yet. 

"I'm feeling a bit-tired right now." Ryujin releases her hand away from the older. 

Noticing this, Yeji starts panicking internally. Almost immediately backing away, making the distance between further again and she gets off the bed. "I'm sorry Shin." 

"I-" 

"-No, I understand." The girl's tone of voice changes from a gentle to a more sterned one and Ryujin's heart crumbles slightly at the change. "I'll cook something for you to eat and you can sleep after." 

At the sight of the taller leaving their bedroom, the younger curses at herself. Deeply letting out a sigh as she turns off the lamp on the bedside table and she turns in her bed. Ignoring the pain in her ankle at the action. 

"I like you too." Ryujin softly mutters, afraid of saying the words a few minutes ago. 

God—what is wrong with her? Why does everything always have to be her fault?

*** 

Yeji sits down, staring at the blankness of the dimly lit screen on her lap while waiting for the soup to finish cooking the chicken. Her delicate fingers hover over the keyboard, not knowing what to type out on this final paper she must do. She should've known to control her feelings back. What was she thinking of putting the younger on the spot like that while rambling endlessly about how she felt towards her? 

If anything, she was silly enough to figure that Ryujin was interested in her either. 

"All I have to do is sleep on it tonight." She mutters to herself, every so often looking at the kitchen from her spot on the couch to make sure the steam is coming out of the pot. "Maybe, I'll forget about the rejection." 

Without knowing, her mind does its own wonders, and she finds herself typing out the artist's name. Hearing the timer of her phone go off, Yeji jumps and stares at her screen wide eyed at the amount of Ryujin's name typed out in front of her. 

"Shit." She picks off the laptop off her lap and sprints over to the pot with water spilling out. 

Too many thoughts are floating freely in her head and the cat eyed girl feels like a fool for not paying attention to the boiling soup sitting perfectly still over the stove top of their kitchen. How could a person take over her mind so effortlessly like this? 

Yet, it hits her that Ryujin isn't as interested in her. 

Then again, why would the younger be interested in her? If anything, Yeji was always mean towards the artist. Nothing but snarl comments would get thrown at the arranged partner. 

It makes sense. 

Ryujin deserves someone better than her. 

*** 

The rookie artist constantly turns in her bed, not seeming to find a comfortable position to watch the movie playing off the laptop screen that is very much so comfortably resting on her lap. Her lower body aches vigorously on the ankle from the amount of time she turned in her bed. 

She couldn't concentrate on the dialogue going on between the two characters, her mind taking in the idea of the model's confession and those eyes: the beautiful deep brown that seems to make the artist feel warm from one glance. The eyes that are unique to look at. 

In her heart, Ryujin knows she yearns for Yeji. But how does she have the right to yearn for the cat eyed girl? When all she did was ruin the model's career of modeling? She doesn't want Yeji to live with all this regret of being with her. 

When the older deserves someone better than her. Yeji deserves someone who's sure of what they want to do in life. Someone who can take care of her. Someone who doesn't stir up rumors for the model and her career. Someone like Soobin... 

Her inner thought burst into a bubble and pops at the noise of hearing the familiar thumping on the house's stairs. Maybe, if she pretended that she was asleep, Yeji would just turn away and walk back down. 

"I made you some chicken soup." Yeji's soft voice rolls out, in a way to apologize earlier for the stern tone. "I'll come by to clean it up once you're asleep." 

Ryujin rips her eyes away from the screen, she manages to look up at the cat eyed girl. In an instant, it's like something gravitated in her. 

"I'm sorry for reacting that way." 

Yeji hums, seeming to look uninterested in that the artist has to say but really her ears are all open to listening. To hear what the specific girl has to say about her confession. "It doesn't really bother me as much as you think." 

"Oh." 

At the response spurring out from Ryujin, the silver haired panics slightly. Just slightly. "I didn't mean it like that. I respect your rejection. Really. I do. I understand." 

"I'm not rejecting you." 

"Really? You can barely say my name Ryujin." Yeji places the tray down on the bedside table, wanting to leave the room to hold herself together. "Don't force yourself." 

The blue haired artist frowns from the model's words. "Yeji, that's not what I meant." 

"Oh? Look at you being a big girl and using my name for the first time." 

As much as it brings joy to Yeji's ears, she feels her heart saddened at the thought of the way her name came out. It only came out of the younger's mouth because she complained about it. It wouldn't willingly came out the way Yeji wished. 

"I like you." Ryujin barely whispers it, softly saying it as she feels herself getting warm from the eyes of Yeji's. "So much Yeji."

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