Come Back Home (Tom/Andrew Love Story)

Chapter 20.

*Third Person POV*

Peter (A) hasn't quite been the same since Raquel left. In what he thought was the right thing to do, he didn't think it would hurt this bad. It was close to the same grief when he lost Gwen. His heartbreak troubled him to the point where he needed to begin expressing his feelings in a journal.

He finds himself dreaming about Raquel just about every night. Longing for her presence around his home again. Thinking about her smile, how it radiated his world, her laugh, echoing through his ears, her beautiful luscious long brown hair, her determination, and compassion. All were what he missed greatly.

Since he is unable to simply text or visit her, he has no idea if she's well. There are times when he turned on the machine again, hoping that with the right thought, it would open the portal to her world. Just to make sure she's doing alright. However, with multiple tries, the portal could not open.

It was as if the machine had a small time deal when Raquel was around, working only for her. But for some strange reason, could not work for him. 

He dwells on the thoughts that even if the machine worked on him, was it justified to see her again? Only to see if she's alright? The minute of his intrusion into her world would rock her and Peter's (T) relationship even further. Peter (A) has no idea if she is still with Peter (T), or if they managed to actually fix things. He didn't want to gamble it.

His presence would give her confusion again, as she left BECAUSE of his plea. It was his idea for her to fix things with her ex and now he is reaping what he sowed. Influenced by Raquel's prayers before she goes to bed each night, he too does the same. Asking God that she is safe and well.

There are also times where he stares at the ceiling, thinking to himself that maybe he's meant to be alone.

Aunt May's coworkers have daughters, and encouraged him to go and try dating again. He did, for several months, he really did.

He tried.

All failed.

Failed to see him.

Failed to connect.

His journal, his ultimate solace of comfort to express the agony inside him. Words filled with his withdrawal, missing Raquel greatly, simultaneously hating himself for for falling for her in the first place.

However, he couldn't help but ponder on the other thought that she stated she was in love with him too. He replays the passion of their last kiss. Pouring her heart and soul to him in that moment, is what is making him hold onto her still.

He sometimes fears that she no longer feels the same for him. Which of course, he had to accept if it was true. He was the one who made her go back to another version of him who cheated on her in the first place. At the end of the day, the machine couldn't work, and he will never see her again.

The more he thought about her, the more he needed to convince himself that he is simply wasting his time.

Besides writing, other things tend to help him mend his broken heart: fighting off villains, decreasing crime rates, and saving others. He even tried to dabble with science again, experiementing his web shooters, how to make his suits more efficient. Hours of working, successful results, yet, still went to bed with a heavy heart. He could admit that he's more productive lately, but it all wasn't enough to get over her...yet.

He's trusting the process, and that it will take more time to get over her. He just thought it would have been sooner.