The Squib and the Werewolf

42. Not Quite Christmas Cheer

After everything that had happened that term, James thought it would be best if they all went home for Christmas, instead of staying at Hogwarts.
They would still see each other during the holidays, but they would get to spend some good time with their families for once, except for Sirius who would be staying with the Potters.
When Raya and Remus went home for Christmas, they started to wish that they had spent more time at home during the summer, as their mother seemed a lot weaker than they remembered.
Hope had always been sick, but Raya hadn't really accepted that her mother would die young. However, seeing her that Christmas, reminded Raya of just how precious life was.
And she was looking forward to spending quality time with her family that Christmas.

When Raya woke up on Christmas morning she found a heap of presents at the end of her bed, which filled her with joy.
Euphemia had sent her a beautiful dark blue dress which Raya insisted on wearing for dinner that day.
Although their Christmas meal was a lot smaller than what James's parents often did, Raya didn't mind, as she knew that Lyall always did his best to provide for them all.
"You know, if I eat all of the chocolate frogs that Peter sent me for Christmas, I think I might explode" commented Remus.
"He probably thinks you are too thin, and need fattening up, because you don't eat enough" replied Raya, as she tried not to notice Lyall helping Hope to pull her Christmas cracker, as she was too weak to do it herself.

"Did Peter send you chocolate frogs as well?" Questioned Remus.
"No, he gave me some sugar quills and peppermint toads. I guess he doesn't think girls should eat too much chocolate or they'll get fat" answered Raya.
"Peter isn't sexist. I'm not even sure if he sees you as a girl. I think he thinks of you as one of the guys" admitted Remus.
"Why, because I don't wear make-up?"
"No, because you spend all your time with boys, and sometimes the others also forget that you aren't one. Even James lets his guard down around you, which he doesn't do for any other girl"
"That's just because I am your friend, it has nothing to do with my gender".

"If you say so... I must say that Sirius's jewellery skills improve each year" complimented Remus.
Raya smiled and looked down at the gold bracelet on her wrist.
"Does he get you jewellery every year?" Continued Remus.
"We always give each other jewellery, it's kind of our thing" admitted Raya.
"But how did he afford that, without having access to the Black fortune like normal?"
"I expect Fleamont and Euphemia helped, as they would do anything for Sirius. And you know how much they like to spoil us all".

The sound of cutlery dropping on the table, cut off the siblings converation, and they both turned their eyes to look at their mother.
"Mum, what's wrong?" Asked Raya.
"It's nothing" insisted Lyall, before dropping his voice to talk to his wife.
"We've talked about this" he whispered.
"Not with the children, we haven't" replied Hope.
"This is not the time nor the place to have that discussion. Christmas is supposed to be full of happy things" hissed Lyall.
"I know, but I just can't take it anymore. It's just not fair on us" sobbed Hope.
"Mum, you're scaring me, what is going on?" Demanded Raya.

"You children just deserve so much better. And we can't give you what you deserve" cried Hope.
"I don't understand" frowned Raya.
"We can't give you lavish meals, expensive presents, and pretty dresses, like your friend James's parents can. No wonder you like spending so much time over there. They treat you like you deserve to be treated, which is probably why you would rather be their children" replied Hope.
"No mum, that's not true"
"But it is. James's mother treats you like her own daughter. That much is clear for everyone to see. Why else would she give you such a glamorous dress?".

Raya bit her lip awkwardly, and quickly tried to come up with an answer that wouldn't hurt her mother's feelings, but also wasn't a lie.
"Euphemia has no daughters, it's true, but she hasn't made me hers. She knows that me, Remus, and Peter, having loving families, which is why she has never tried to replace our parents. When Fleamont and Euphemia met Sirius, it became clear that he didn't have a good family, which is why they sort of adopted him as their surrogate son. But they have never treated me the same way. They are super rich, so their idea of wealth is different to ours, which is why they don't think twice about buying expensive presents for their sons friends. And since Euphemia has no one to buy dresses for, as she has no daughters, she probably jumped at the chance to buy me some. But buying someone a dress doesn't make you their daughter" insisted Raya.

"If that is the case, then why do you spend so much time at their house, and no one elses?" Questioned Hope.
"Because it is big enough to house all 5 of us. We wouldn't be welcome at the Black's for obvious reasons, and we can't all fit in the Pettigrew's house. And we certainly couldn't come here, because it wouldn't be fair on you, since we are all rather loud and you need your rest. That's why the Potter's manor became our base of operations. I also go there a lot, because that is where Sirius lives, and he's my boyfriend so I want to see him as often as possible. When we are at Hogwarts, I see him every day, so it's weird being away from him like this" answered Raya.

"So, it's not because you prefer them over us, and you want to become a Potter?" Quizzed Hope.
"Definately not. I have never wanted to be a Potter, or to have Euphemia and Fleamont as my real parents... Maybe when I first met them I liked the idea of having wealthy parents who lived in a big mansion. But as I got older, I realised that even though they like me and are super kind to me, they could never care about me the way you and dad do. You love me in a way that no one else does, and I would never give that up, not for all the money and pretty dresses in the world" announced Raya.

Hope began to cry again, so Raya got out of her seat, and made her way over to her mother, before kneeling by her side.
She then placed her arms around Hope and held her tight.
"I love you mum. And nothing will ever change that" promised Raya.
"I love you too, sweetheart. And I hated to think that I was losing you, because I couldn't give you what you needed. But then I realised that I was being selfish. And that if being with the Potters made you happy, then I shouldn't take you away from them, because I want you to be happy. Which is why I've been having this internal battle for ages" admitted Hope.
"You should have told me this sooner, and I would have reassured you that you are the only mum I could ever want" replied Raya.

"I always prayed that deep down you did care about me and your dad more than the Potters, but then you didn't come home last Christmas, and I began to doubt myself" revealed Hope.
"We were not at the Potters last Christmas, I swear. We stayed at Hogwarts because the boys had their OWLs to study for. Lots of 5th and 7th year students also stayed to study" informed Raya.
"Although, I'm not sure exactly how much studying we actually did" grinned Remus.
"I did try and make you all do some work, but I'm not sure that I succeeded" sighed Raya.
"Having the castle almost empty was too good a chance to miss, at least according to James" replied Remus.

Raya smiled at her brother, before turning back to face her mum.
"Mum, my friends are a big part of my life, so much so that I think of them as part of my family. We are closer than normal friends are, and James and Peter feel as much like my brothers as Remus does. And I love Sirius, which is why I always want to be with him. This is why me and Remus are always at the Potters. It has nothing to do with Fleamont and Euphemia's excessive generosity. We simply want to see our friends, because they mean the world to us" informed Raya, as she stood back to her feet.

"Then I shall not stop you from doing what you like. If your friends make you happy, then I want you to always be with them" revealed Hope.
"Are you sure?" Questioned Raya.
"I don't want you being here out of guilt and obligation. And I'm sorry that I got upset earlier and made you feel bad, for trying to live your own life. I want you to be happy, and if your happy place isn't here, then that's O.K" informed Hope.

Raya looked over at Lyall, "Dad, is this really alright with you?".
"As long as we see your face from time to time, and you don't forget where your real home is, then I don't care if you spend every day at the Potters" sighed Lyall.
"Thank you dad" beamed Raya.
"You're welcome. Now, why don't you sit back down so we can do our Christmas toast" suggested Lyall.
Raya nodded and returned to her seat.
Lyall then raised his glass in the air, "I am grateful to have my family with me, and to have such wonderful food here in front of me".

Hope shakily raised her own glass, "I am grateful to have another Christmas with those I love, and I pray that it's not my last".
Remus went next and lifted up his glass, "I am so thankful that the full moon this month comes inbetween Christmas and new year, so that I don't have to miss out on either of those celebrations".
Raya smiled and picked up her glass, "And I am grateful that James has not turned 17 yet, as that means our fireworks party in his garden, will be a lot safer as he can't use magic outside of school yet".
Everyone laughed before taking a sip of their drinks, and then returning their attention back to their Christmas dinner, which had just started to turn cold.