The Squib and the Werewolf

78. Half An Orphan

When Raya woke up, she was in more pain than she had ever been in her life, and her whole body seemed to ache for reasons she did not know.
The unfamiliar room around her was also making her feel uneasy.
But as her eyes adjusted to the white light in the room, she saw that Remus was sitting beside her bed.
"What happened?" Croaked Raya, as she tried to push herself into a sitting position.
"Raya, thank Merlin you're awake, I was so worried about you" replied Remus.
"What happened?" Raya asked again.
"You went into labour at Sirius's trial" reminded Remus.

"But it's too early. The baby isn't due for another 2 weeks" said Raya.
"Nevertheless, he is here now, whether we are ready for him or not" admitted Remus.
"Him?" Questioned Raya.
"Yes. You had a son"
"Why don't I remember any of this?"
"You were unconscious during labour, and the Healers had to basically pull him out of you, as you were unable to push. But despite that, and even though he came early, he's perfectly healthy. The healers will probably release you both from St Mungo's tonight, or maybe tomorrow morning".

"You know what tomorrow is, don't you?" Questioned Raya.
"No" frowned Remus.
"It's Sirius's birthday" reminded Raya.
"Oh, yes, I suppose it is. I guess it's a good thing your son was born today and not tomorrow then"
"That's what you're taking away from this? Sirius's birthday will be his first full day in Azkaban, and all you can think about is that it's a good thing him and his son were not born on the same day. Sirius will be in prison on his birthday, doesn't that bother you? Or have you turned your back on him already?".

Remus sighed and stood out of his seat, turning his back on Raya.
"He betrayed us all. I know you can forgive him for it, because you love him, but I cannot. He killed Peter, James, and Lily. Our best friend betrayed us!" Shouted Remus.
"No, he did not. And Peter is not dead, although I wish he was. He disappeared after turning into his animagus form. I couldn't tell the Ministry that, because I didn't want to reveal that the others are all illegal animagi" revealed Raya.
"But Sirius was the secret keeper, not Peter!" Reminded Remus, as he spun back around.
"No, he wasn't. We changed it behind your back, to protect the Potters. We knew Voldemort would go after Sirius, and if he killed him, the Fidelius Charm wouldn't work as well. Because everyone who knows the secret, becomes the secret keeper, when the original one dies. Which is why we changed it to Peter, thinking that no one would ever guess that he was the real secret keeper".

"And you both decided to keep this from me?" Questioned Remus.
"I didn't want to. But Sirius knew there was a traitor among us, he just didn't know who. So, he made me promise not to tell you" explained Raya.
"Oh, and you just assumed I was the traitor, because I'm a werewolf, and therefore I'm the bad guy" spat Remus.
"No, I was adamant that you weren't the traitor. I told Sirius he had until Christmas to prove that you were guilty, or I was going to tell you about the secret keeper switch".

"But the reason Sirius distrusted me, was because I am a werewolf, right?" Asked Remus.
"Yes. But can you blame him? You had been spending lots of time with werewolves, on Dumbledore's orders I know, but most wolves are not very trustworthy. Most of them supported Voldemort, because he promised to give them more rights. So, you joining him at least made some sort of sense. We never imagined that Peter would betray us all, just to save his own skin" admitted Raya.

"Sirius told you about the swap though, so he never even considered that you were the traitor" said Remus coldly.
"I'm his wife, and he trusts me. Besides, I'm a Squib, I don't gain anything in a world ruled by pure-bloods like Voldemort... Look, just forget the facts for a minute. You know Sirius, and you know that he isn't like the rest of his twisted family. He is a good person, and you know in your heart that he would never betray us" replied Raya.

Remus sighed and sat back down, "I want to believe you, I really do, but it's just hard when all of the evidence points to Sirius being the traitor".
"You don't have to believe him, just me. Do you really think I would lie to you about this?" Questioned Raya.
"To save Sirius, I think you would lie to anyone, he's the father of your child afterall"
"You're right, I would lie to save him. But Sirius has been sent to Azkaban, and there is nothing I can do to save him now. So, I wouldn't gain anything by lying to you. The rest of the world can think the worst of him, but I want you to remember your friend, the way he really was. Sirius and James were like brothers, do you honestly think that Sirius could ever betray him?".

"It is hard to believe that Sirius would turn his back on us. But hiding things from me, and making you lie to me, doesn't sound like the Sirius I know. So, maybe he changed while I was undercover for Dumbledore. And we all know that Sirius has a dark side, as he did try to get me to kill Severus once" reminded Remus.
"That was years ago, and Sirius has regretted what he did that day, ever since. Him and James both became better people over time, they grew up but I guess that Peter never did. As we all drifted apart, Peter must have realised that he was too weak to defend himself, which is why he turned to Voldemort to protect him. Sirius could look after himself, and he would have died rather than betray his friends. We were Harry's godparents, and we never would have put him in danger. We love him like a son" insisted Raya.

"Look, whether or not the traitor was Sirius or Peter, is doesn't really matter, because neither of them are here now. Sirius will spend the rest of his life in Azkaban, and nothing will change that. If Peter really is alive, as you say he is, then he won't ever reveal himself, because the world thinks he's dead. And James and Lily are gone forever. So, it is just the two of us now. We have to look to the future, and not focus on the past. You have a son, and from now on you must always put him first" announced Remus.
With each line he said, Raya felt the world around her coming crashing down, as she realised that he was right.
She really would never see her friends ever again, from now on, she was all alone.

Raya placed her head into her hands and began to cry, "How am I going to do this without Sirius? How can I raise my son, without his father? The boy is going to practically be an orphan, as everyone that loves him is dead, or in eternal solitude. I don't know the first thing about being a mother, let alone a single parent. I just turned 20 and I can barely look after myself. I also can't get a job because I'm a Squib, so I have no money and I will never be able to financially support a kid. And James and Lily were going to be the child's godparents, and now he will never get to meet them. He'll never get to know how amazing they all were or how silly they could be. He will never hear their voices, or see their smiles. And he will never know how much they would have loved him".

"He will know them. He will know them through us, and the stories we will tell about our good friends; the Marauders. He will know every single thing we ever did in our lives, the good stuff and the bad stuff. He is not an orphan, because he has you. And I will be right by your side the whole time. You won't go through this alone, I promise. I will move into the manor with you, and help you raise the boy. And together we will give him the best life that we can" reassured Remus.
"I don't want you to have to give up your life for me" replied Raya.
"With all my friends dead, there is nothing left for me. I am also a werewolf, so I cannot live a normal existence. Besides you are my little sister, and it is my job to look after you. Your son is a part of you, and therefore a part of our family".

"I guess you had better go and get him from the healers then, so that I can meet my son" instructed Raya.
Remus smiled and climbed out of his chair, "I will go and fetch him".
"Who do you think he looks like?" Quizzed Raya.
"He has Sirius's hair and eyes, but he has our Lupin facial features... The healers didn't know what name to write on his cot in the nursery, so they just put Black, since I didn't know what to tell them. You do have a name for him though, right?" Asked Remus.
Raya sighed and nodded her head, "Yes. His name is Jamie. Jamie Sirius Black".