To Know More

35 | i'm sorry

| Amelia |

Ever since we dropped Leila at Sophie's place, there was nothing but silence.

I took in a deep breath, my hands tightening on the steering wheel of their own volition. Seriously, it was so silent, I could've heard a pin drop in there.

Nervously, I licked my lips and carefully glanced in Noah's direction. Contrary to my condition, he seemed completely at ease - comfortable, even. His head rested on the seat behind him as he gazed outside, seemingly lost in thought and not minding the silence that I perceived as a sign on discomfort.

Well, if he's not troubled by it...

I eased a bit, relaxing into my seat and loosening my stiffened spine. Still, I looked his way again to check if he noticed.

He hadn't.

And yet, I couldn't quite tear my gaze away.

Bruised, battered, injured, wounded...and despite all that, absolutely mesmerising. Maybe even more than usual.

Blood seemed to fail to tarnish the angelic halo that surrounded him; I was even starting to believe that blood magnified it, reminded me that he had struggles of his own that he kept buried deep inside - ones that sometimes, resurfaced in the form of the cuts that he had right this moment, sprawled all across his skin.

He wasn't perfect. And that made him all the more addicting.

"You're going to crash the car."

I yelped when he spoke up suddenly, slowly turning his head in my direction. In an almost bored manner, he gestured towards the wheel and then the road ahead.

My eyes widened and I immediately looked away. "Oh-"

"If you're going to stare at someone like a statue, at least make sure you don't kill him in the process, yeah?"

I pursed my lips. I think I liked the silence better. "Mhm, sorry."

I zipped my lips up after that, choosing to shut up till we reached his place. Noah was - as I had noticed before - more on the edge than usual. And I was in no way eager to tip him over it.

To make sure there wouldn't be any other opportunity for us to talk, I decided to turn on the radio. Songs cheer anyone up, right?

"No."

He uttered the word blankly like it was an order, and to my utmost dismay, my hand decided to obey even before my brain could.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I just thought-"

"No music."

Blank and final, once again. At this point, I had to physically bite my lips in order to stop a bilious curse from escaping. Be good, Amelia, he's not-

"And christ, can you stop holding the wheel so tight? You're going to get it all greasy and dirty-"

"Oh my god!" I finally yelled, widening my eyes at him and staring in disbelief at his pettiness and arrogance. "It's just a car, calm down."

He laughed, humourlessly and mockingly, breaking his stoicism as well. "Just a car? Please, do you even know how much it costs?"

"More than my entire bank's worth," I brought back his insult from earlier, tightening my hold on the wheel (admittedly, just to spite him even more). "Yeah, I know."

I turned my head in the other direction - rather harshly - and focused my eyes on the road. Did he really need to act like that? Even while I was being mostly patient with him? While I was trying to help him?