Genius

Chapter 21

We submitted the diorama and got a fair grade.

Tyler and Brian were thrilled about their accomplishment, which was getting the diorama carefully from the car to the classroom without it falling apart. There were minimal casualties, only one support of the bridge fell off, we were lucky that when that piece fell the rest of the bridge did not come off with it.

Now that the diorama is finally done, there will be much less reason for me to be in the presence of Brian, Tyler, and Morgan. I don't know what to feel about that, I should be relieved that I will not experience yet again the mixed feelings I feel towards the group yet I think I should feel sad because I am letting go of the possible friendship that I will ever have in my life. But who am I kidding, no one wants to be friends with me. However, I do wonder if they would still hang out with me after this project.

Why am I making such a massive deal about this. From now on, I won't expect anything. For there are still many more crucial matters to occupy my mind with. Not the possibility of friendship that will lead to emotional attachment, which I don't want to have if I'm gonna leave this place, not the strange feelings that swarm in my head every time I see or remember Brian, not even the thought that maybe my parents will come to look for me and someone will finally love me. All of those are distractions from my plan.

I will always be alone. A voice in my head keeps repeating that phrase over and over in my head since I was 7.
And I believe it.

______________________________

A month is left until the Science Fair.
My project is already complete but I'm dreading that day to come.

I imagined hundreds of possible outcomes on that day when I present my invention.
But 2 remain the worst eventuality I can ever think of.

One would be, them thinking that how can a person who lacks intellect all these years know how to do that, then they would start to question me.

The other one would be, them thinking I was cheating, that I let someone else do my project for me.

Those two possible scenarios are what I fear the most. I would still be attending class the following day after the project to obtain my report card, so I would have to deal with the outcome of any of those events.

I shook my head, trying to shake off the thoughts in my head.

I looked at the time and saw that it was almost time for a walk. So I did that.

I went to the fields and plane area. It was a quiet Saturday in this small town. I neared the weeping willow that opens up to the wondrous sight. I walked towards the tree in the middle of the huge plane area.

I climbed it and sat on one of its branches.
Once I am situated, I breathe a sigh of relief.

This is such a perfect place to go if you want to take your mind off things.

The breeze was relaxing, calming all the raging thoughts inside my head

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the tree I sat on, feeling at peace.

An hour later...

I climbed back down the tree and once down, I placed my left hand on its trunk.

"Oh, majestic tree. How many hours in my life have I spent hiding underneath your shade. I come to you when I seek comfort and peace when my thoughts get overwhelming."

I laid my forehead on its boot and recited a poem I've known since I was young.

"Nature looked across the seas She had newly made.
"Now," said Nature,
"Life must have A place of cooling shade.
"All my creatures shall have rest From the sun's high tide. Underneath a leafy bough Shall my creatures hide.
" So out from the deep black earth Rose a mighty tree.
The hill wind sang a song of welcome.
"Greetings!" roared the sea. When the sun had reached its zenith
In the tree's cool shade
All the creatures lay them down, And they were not afraid.
Ever since the tree has flourished, Mighty and yet kind! Nowhere else can beast or man Sweeter solace find.
The First Tree by Lenore Hetrick"