Genius

Chapter 1

No matter how much intelligent you may think you are, there are still many things in this world that you don't understand.

I consider myself like that...I excel a lot in the fields of computer and engineering science as well as mathematics.

As complicated as those may sound, I can't help but be inferior to the mystery we call life and in many other things in the universe.

Life can be beautiful but can be unpleasant at the same time. Human life...It's complicated and challenging yet some say that without those, life would be pale and pointless.

And I agree with that however in my situation it's rather different.

I can't seem to succeed in the challenges that come with life. Every invention I make comes with trial and every time that trial comes I overcome it and end up succeeding. But when it comes to the trials of life, I fail and end up never doing anything about that problem. It's still there and I don't acknowledge any of it. Distracting myself from my problems has been a talent of mine.

Blocking away all those matters that need to be addressed. I'm numb towards it. It is like my body has been programmed to react to none of it.

I know that this is not the way to approach it but it's the only way I know-how.

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I lived an unfortunate life.
I was abandoned by my parents when I was only a few months old and lived my whole 17 years of existence in an orphanage.

Other than being an orphan I was also a rather peculiar child. While other kids play with toys, I enjoy reading and avoid social interaction.
I started reading at a very young age and that led me to properly speak the English language by the time I was 4.

I was not graced with sociability either. But it didn't matter because I was constantly bullied by other juveniles.

I wear glasses and have curly big dark brown hair. Those are the other reasons why people don't like me. I guess looks do matter to this vulgar society that we live in. I don't fit well to the standards that humanity made. That led me to be an outcast.

No matter how much I try, I just cannot obtain that connection when it comes to making friends. So I just gave up.

On the first day of elementary and I didn't make any friends. That was also the time that I stopped showing any emotions. The only thing that I could describe what that felt was like a switch just turned off in me and I can no longer express my emotions. Even if I try.

I may appear emotionless but deep inside I feel every type of emotion, like any other person. I just don't know how to show it anymore.

So I engrossed myself with the things that interest me. Like reading, playing the piano, and take videos.

Doing those activities helps me forget all my worries. It distracts my mind from pondering on the misfortunes of my life. An escape from the harsh realities. My reality.

By the end of 1st grade, I can already speak 3 languages including signs and taught myself to multiply and divide large numbers and fractions, algebra, and calculus.

By that time I started going to the town's library because I already finished reading all the books at the orphanage, that was when I also discovered the world of inventions. Book after book, I would say I was addicted.

I was mainly interested in Mechanical and Electrical Engineering. After about a month of reading all about it, I decided to fix something. Using my knowledge I successfully fixed a broken watch.

One thing led to another and by the time I was 9, I can already fix any problem regarding automobiles.

I tried making an artificially intelligent machine system when I was 11 and robotic arms, its name is Garret, I designed it so it could meet my personal needs like having conversations with me, lending some tools, and giving me legal information.

I continued teaching myself maths. There is just something about solving that calms me, it's therapeutic. When I'm in front of an equation that needs to be solved everything around me and my previous thoughts will all vanish and be replaced by the thoughts on how to obtain the answer of the given. But solving equations, playing instruments, reading...all of those are just mere distractions. Whatever I do, I can never get rid of any of my problems.

Now I'm 17, tomorrow's gonna be my first day of senior year and last year of high school. I am relieved that in only a few months I'll finally leave this town.

My life has become much worse than before. And now I'm turning 18.

No one has adopted me, and I doubt no one would ever will, I'm gonna be 18 in 8 months.

I'm starting to make plans now, once I finish high school I will leave this town. That's the plan for now.

There are so many things that I wished would go differently but things just don't go my way. Fate always has different plans for me.

I'm still on the verge of deciding if my intellect is a blessing or not. I haven't found my purpose in life yet and I don't know if it has something to do with my intelligence or not. Am I born to do much greater things, it doesn't seem like it. Maybe I'll be one of those people who haven't found what they are meant to do in this world and end up becoming a nobody who is just existing and eventually die in the end without a legacy to leave.

Being like me is not great at all. Sometimes I feel like being highly intelligent is a curse. I feel like there is something in return for being smart, like how my life turned out. Not having friends and family, in return for being smart.

I yearned for a friend... for a family. For someone to love me.

I never felt what it's like to be loved but being loved would not matter I guess, cause I don't even know how to love, I don't consider myself as that type of person who can return that same kind of compassion. I don't even know how to display my emotions ...so I think it would be better though...to just have no one...Cause I don't think I have the capability of such thing that people call love.