Things Fall Apart

prologue

"Do I not make you happy anymore?"

His pleading eyes were full of sadness as they desperately searched mine for an answer to his question. It hurt that I didn't have an answer to even hide from him. I was really just tired. At this point, I didn't even know what I wanted. My head and my heart were battling, just like they'd been battling for years. Since the day he told he was leaving to go to New York for the first time. My right mind was constantly telling me to run, but my heart...my heart kept me exactly where I was. With my feet planted in front of him waiting for him to put me first again. I've spent days crying, hours on my knees praying for this to work but it was all just too hard.

"Chris please..." I looked off to the side as my eyes started to water.  His hands landed on either side of my face, making me focus on him.

"Answer me Nae. I need to know...because if the answer is no then...I won't fight you no more. It's gon kill me every day baby, but I'll let you go. I'll let you go if that's what you want, I swear." Our eyes locked again, this time  all four of them holding tears. "I want you to be happy. If that's not with me then Imma have to live with that...knowing I lost you." He choked back tears, breaking my heart. "But if any part of you still wants this...baby please tell me now. We could still fix this."

"I love you." I croaked as tears streamed down my face, not knowing what else to say. "I love you...so fucking much C. I feel it...all over my body." I shut my eyes, shaking my head back and forth. "But love isn't enough.  It hasn't been enough for a long time." I opened my eyes back up just as fast as I'd closed them, meeting his in an intense stare down filled with fear and guilt. "All you ever do is make me cry."