"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
January 8th, 2006 London, England
" I got a lot to say so I guess I'll start by Saying that I love you But you know, this ain't been no walk in the park for us I swear it'll only take a minute You'll understand when I finish And I don't wanna see you cry But I don't wanna be the one to tell you a lie"
"So what's the excuse now Chris? Were you too tired to call this time? Or did you just forget?"
Chris sighed on the opposite end of the phone, holding his face in his hand. This has been an ongoing argument for weeks now. He was inconsistent and Naomi was getting tired of begging for the things she was supposed to just get for free.
Like a phone call. A simple gesture that said 'I'm thinking of you, and I miss you.' Lately it was like his celebrity life occupied his time and his mind more and more. She felt like her feet were still planted on Earth and he was like a big flame burning in the sky, floating further and further away until he was no longer visible. At least not to her.
He was traveling internationally a lot more now, and she'd love to blame their miscommunication on the time difference, but it was more than that. She was so used to being in the front of his mind that feeling like an afterthought was like a punch to the gut. And as hard as Chris tried to let her know she was still a priority, the space between them was constantly growing wider and wider. He was trying to balance his career, taking off at rapid speed like a rocket, with his relationship but there was no doubt he was spread thin.
It was even worse than earlier in the year when he was on tour for damn near seven months. They survived that. Barely, but they did.
"I don't got no excuse, Nae. I was tired, and I don't be keeping track of my phone all the time." He wanted to give her the time it took to make up, but the door to the recording studio opened behind him and Bishop strolled in, announcing it was time to get back to work. Chris cursed lowly under his breath, shaking his head in annoyance. "Look...can I call you when I get back in the crib? I'm with B right now and you know he be tripping."
"Chris...are you serious? Do I sound like I care about Bishop right now?!"
"Nae, come on. It ain't cause I don't wanna talk to you, I'm in the middle of something!" When he noticed his voice was raising, he paused to take a breath. Turning his rolling chair the opposite direction from where Bishop was a few feet away pouring himself a drink, he spoke quietly into the phone. "Baby, I'm giving you my word imma call you tonight."
"Don't even bother. Goodbye."
She didn't even pause, just hung up right in his face. They used to always end every conversation with an 'I love you.' It was important to them...they needed to hear it. But recently more often than not, their phone calls ended on a bad note.
