"we will struggle
not the way people do
and you will hurt me
but not the way everyone else can
and you will love me
harder than anything I've ever known
and I will need you
it will be strong and terrifying
and I will listen
even if it's the sadde...
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chris July 5th, 2008 Tokyo, Japan
"We don't need nobody else, all we need is us Opinions get involved baby, fucks up all the trust The bond, the love You're scared, me too He hurt me, she hurt you You taking a risk, well me too"
When Nae got back from Hawaii, I was right back on the road again. I picked her up from the airport and dropped CJ off to her, and was on a plane a few hours later out to London. I was joining Robyn for a few dates on her tour, just to be with her and pop out at her shows to shake the crowd up a little. Night after night, they ate it up. We made our way through Europe in a week or two and then headed to a couple dates in Asia. I was working my album and my single along the way too.
I loved being on the road usually anyway, but being with her made this shit even more exciting. Watching her perform was dope because we were together for all the background work that went into her album and her tour, so I was proud watching her bring it to life. We were actually having fun. We was in all the clubs, they ain't care how old we was out here, or we fucked up the hotel sheets every night.
I was good.
After me and Nae's little phone call, I called her the next day as promised, and she was talking to me like everything was normal. So I went ahead and asked her if she remembered what she said to me the night before and she said no. She genuinely ain't remember. It kinda made me feel like...damn, all the shit she said really was just drunk rambling. She ain't miss me at all.
After that I said fuck it, I should just focus on the relationship that's working for me right now. Me and Rob ain't perfect...we got our issues like everybody else, but at least I ain't get my feelings played with all the time. Nae could control me like a fucking puppet without even trying and I was honestly tired of stepping right, thinking we on the same page, when she's really stepping to the left the whole time.
I'm done with the emotional dance, the roller coaster and all the bullshit. If she really ain't want me then I don't want her ass neither. Maybe she was right...we need to focus on our son and not complicate shit with our relationship. I just wanted to fall outta love with her so I could stop hurting so much. I'm the only one in pain.
Everything I was feeling was going in my new music. It was way too soon to drop another project, and I couldn't go from a record like 'Forever,' into some heartbreak shit. But I had a lot to say and I was recording it all.
"After this, we need to go on vacation." Robyn's heavy accent got my attention, as she lowered herself onto my lap. I was zoned out, seated at the control table in the studio I found in Tokyo, listening back to some of the songs I laid tonight. She took the burning blunt from my hand and took a long pull, blowing the smoke in the air and then kissing me. "We been working too hard."
