Unbroken C.B

42

TW: Talk of NICU Stay, struggles with breastfeeding, baby on oxygen

I don't know how to put this TW without telling you, Leigh struggles with the idea of having the baby. I want to put this as a TW because it can be. She feels scared, nervous and not good enough and has thoughts of giving away her baby. Please, read with caution. If this is something that would bother you, skip the conversation with her mom towards the end.

Colby is not in this chapter. He is not important for the emotion and struggle I want to show. If that bugs you, sorry. He's in the next chapter.

Let's remember to be kind to the characters' emotions and feelings. Be empathic for this chapter, thank you.

*Leighton's POV*

I feel like everyone paints pregnancy to be this glamorous, joyful event... when in reality it was one of the worst things I've been through.

No one talks about how having a baby affects you. They just show how cute the baby is and how happy they are... so why was I crying in the bathroom as I tried to pee?

It is currently 8:20pm on November 25th 2020, my beautiful baby girl has been in this world for 7 hours... and when I woke up about an hour ago, I found out the harsh news that she had been transferred to the NICU.

No one prepares you for that.

I mean, how do you prepare to tell a new mom that their baby is on oxygen?

My whole labor was a blur. I don't remember too much... but I think it's because of the amount of pain I was in now.

My stomach hurt a lot after being pressed on by the nurses, and my vagina felt like it had been ripped in half. My back, shoulders and lower stomach aches and my thighs felt fatigued.

I had to have help to walk to the bathroom, and I was taught how to clean myself due to the stitches since I did in fact tear.

It was a 2nd degree tear, which meant I had some pretty fun stitches, hence me crying whilst trying to pee.

I got the catheter out about an hour ago, and I always heard that the first time peeing after giving birth was weird and terrifying, but no one warned me that it stings really bad if you have stitches.

If that doesn't make having a baby sound fun, want to know what will?

The really sexy after labor diaper I have to wear that had a pretty thick pad attached to it.

Why, you ask?

Because I'm bleeding like a mofo.

I've never bled so hard in my fucking life.

Now I know I seem to be constantly complaining.... But imagine wearing an adult diaper with a thick pad whilst you're on your heaviest period day ever in history.... And you have stitches on your vagina and you can't even snuggle your baby.

To make matters worse, when I walked, I limped. And I still looked like I was 7 months pregnant.

Sounds fun, right?

Yeah.

"Ms. Fox? Is everything okay?" An on call nurse asked and I sighed, slowly opening the door.

"When can I see my baby?" I asked, letting her help me back to my bed.

There was a new puppy pad placed on it and my water bottle had been filled.

I was waiting for Sam to bring me food since I had slept for quite a few hours after labor.

My family wasn't coming till tomorrow since I had passed out, and the baby wasn't even here.

"I don't know" she said softly and I bit my lower lip, trying not to cry as I carefully sat down.