The Mess I Got Into ( This Is How I Met You ) Jikook

I'm falling for you - 2

However much you wanted someone to want you, there was nothing you could do to make it happen. Whatever you did for them, whatever you gave them, whatever you let them take, it could never be enough. Never enough to be sure. Never enough to satisfy them. Never enough to stop them walking away.

Never enough to make them love you.

I'm falling for you -2

Present Day -

Since I have joined Bighit, My schedule has been simple: Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. Taehyung always scolds me for that, he believes "work hard, party harder". As you get to live life once and he lives for it. And being a social butterfly he loves meeting new people, socializing with them, making friends but for me it's not the same. I believe "work hard when people are partying, so you can live life happily after". And being an introvert, I kept my circle small. Less crowd less bullshit. There are very few people I trust and be with, be it for lifetime or time being, I choose my people.

Today there is a boring party at least for me at some grand hotel. Where all idols, trainees, trainers and some bigshots of Bighit are invited. Taehyung was so excited for this party, for god knows why? He had several plans like going to a spa, having a good skincare session, and a stunning haircut for this party. He even chose his party wear a week before. He also asked me to buy a few party outfits for myself as I don't have much, when we went shopping that week. Which I got the outfit for myself not for today but I'll wear it some other time. Honestly, I have no energy or interest in going to this bigshot party where I'll have to pretend who I'm not. I'll prefer being home, enjoying my long bath. Eating pizza while watching my favourite movie Notebook and that's what I'm gonna do. Even Taehyung can't change my mind this time.

After a long squabble over the phone, Taehyung finally gave up on me and agreed. Just this time he'll let me do what I want as I look tired, maybe because of work he said but just this time, next time no excuses. Also he'll be coming home to see me before the party to which i agree. I wanna see him too. These days my mind has been really stressed over a lot of things and as taehyung rightly said I'm a bit tired not just physically but also mentally. I need some time for myself. So many times I thought of telling my feelings about Jungkook to Taehyung as he is my best friend but this is a mess, a love triangle or maybe not? I know Taehyung loves someone. What if the person he loves is Jungkook and they both are waiting for the right time or not be able to confess or tell each other about their feelings with the fear of losing it all. I'll ruin everything if that's the case because I want nothing but them both to be happy, even if that brings me pain. So it's better to keep everything to myself and see how it goes? How long can I hold it? It's better to take all the pain to myself then to give them.

The best part, I know Jungkook will be where Taehyung will be so I'll get the entire house myself which I'm grateful for. And as promised Taehyung is here to meet me before the party "Hey baby, are you sure you wanna be alone, do you want me to stay here with you? If you want, can I do that? Nothing is more important than you, " he said, "Taehyung, I'm a bit tired, just some rest and I'll be okay so don't worry. You don't have to change your plan for me" i said , "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" He asked with a sulky face "Tae we already talked about it just this time lemme be to myself, next time i promise I'll come with you." We made a pinky promise "Okay, as you say but if you need me, you'll call me right away" "Okay" i said hugging him. Since we were kids Taehyung's hugs were the best for me, I missed these hugs for so many years so now that I'm back I'm not gonna leave a single chance i get. "By the way, where is Jungkook?" He asked. Jungkook, Taehyung is here, I shouted. Within a few seconds Jungkook was out, Taehyung was still hugging me and his grip was tight. I saw a change in Jungkook's expression the minute he was out of his room he was smiling and after seeing us hugging his entire aura changed as if at any given minute he'll kill me, he was already killing me with his eyes. So I tried getting out of the grip and lessening the tension but nothing really worked. I looked up at Taehyung and said "Why don't you and Jungkook talk, I'll quickly go to the bathroom and come". He kissed my nose and said "okay, come soon". I quickly ran to the washroom without looking anywhere.

Taehyung has always shown me all his affection, since we were kids. We used to hug for hours and hours. Cuddles and sleep. He loved kissing my entire face till this date. I don't know if it was normal for friends to do it, as we never had any other friends during our childhood. So it went on, he still kisses me every chance he gets or we keep on hugging, we even have cuddles night even now. Nothing really changed in us so now that Jungkook is there in the picture and he has feelings for Taehyung it feels wrong. Not that we are doing something wrong because it's just pure love without any romantic feeling involved but the gaze Jungkook gives me, that makes me antsy.

I went back to living room, Taehyung and Jungkook were talking. I stood far away from them to make myself ready to face Jungkook, my feelings for him and tension between us. It's been years now and i havent moved out, not that i can't move out, it's just i don't want to, nor he have ever asked me to. When i say his and mine dynamic are not good, it's not really such. It's just not hate all the time, we live and coperate like normal roommates. We talk, fight, joke around, cook for each other, wait for each other, play around, go out for groceries or walk, watch movies, play games, and care for each other. He's all okay till his feelings take the charge of him, he's a completely different person then. There are these unsaid words and feelings, though we both know about it but no one wants to acknowledge it. I snapped out of my thoughts and walked to them " Aren't you guys going? it's getting late" I asked looking at the clock, Taehyung looked at me suspiciously "Why? What's so hurry? Do you have some other plans? have called in someone else after we're gone?" Really this guy is way dramatic, i thought "Well what if i have? Can't i have some fun? Does that really matter?" I said with a smirk to tease, both of them got stiff. i thought he said it jokingly so i played along but i think he wasn't "I'm kidding, there is no one coming guys. Who would come? If I have no one except you both and our few common friends. Go enjoy, get laid, have fun and stop thinking nonsense".  They still looked uneasy, what's wrong with these guys? at times i don't really understand them at all. "Okay, we'll go. Call me if you need anything" Taehyung said a worrisome tone. "Yes, i will. Go have fun." With that said they both left. I locked the door and finally I'm all alone I thought and walked to the sofa to rest. I'm gonna enjoy this time to the fullest starting from taking a nap.

Hi fam,

I was too occupied with work and some other tasks, i couldn't spare time for writing. I'm sorry if you would have waited. I'll try to post something on the given days.

Stay healthy, stay strong.