The Mess I Got Into ( This Is How I Met You ) Jikook

Jealousy Jealousy - 2

Tell me I'm a screwed up mess, that I never listen to, listen. Tell me you don't want my kiss, that you need your distance, distance. Tell me anything but don't you say he's what you're missing baby. If he's the reason that you're leaving me tonight, spare me what you think and Tell Me a Lie.

Jealousy jealousy

Jungkook POV

I quickly walked out of the hotel to where the car was parked. I tried searching for keys, but I found it nowhere. Maybe it was with Taehyung or I don't know. Wherever it is, It would take a lot of time finding them and if it's with tae it's gonna take forever as knowing him he's gonna ask a hundred questions which I'm not ready to answer not at least now.

It was pouring heavily, I was already soaked. My mind and thoughts were more dark, deep and stormy than the rainy night tonight. I walked towards the main road to get a cab, I needed to go home soon, to Jimin, to my Jimin. It would be the safest and quickest way to head home. After a few minutes of waiting I finally got the cab. I needed courage, the sober me won't storm in at our place knowing my world will get upside down the minute I'll enter the house. I remember taking a rum bottle before coming out which I was glad I did, I started drinking it, neat. The amount of alcohol in me made me wonder, how I didn't pass out yet?

Finally I reached my destination. My senses were numb. My mind was dizzy, it was alcohol or thoughts I'm not sure which to choose. Stumbling around, likely using the wall and furniture to keep from falling over, I walked in our building. My heart screamed to stop right there but my mind was told otherwise. I knew the minute walked out of the party, I'm gonna regret these in many ways but right now i didn't give a fuck. I don't know why I was here, to see Jimin with someone else? To confess? To break my own heart, which already is broken. What would I get out of it? It'll help me to hate him more, but don't I do it already? At least I tried so I could keep a distance and a wall between us. This hate helped me to keep my feelings at bay and not ruin all the efforts I made so far. There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. What do I really want? Blame him? Claim him? What do I want? What? With these thoughts in my mind I started walking to our apartment.

I knocked once, twice, thrice. There was no answer. I couldn't think rationally, I slurred out his name, thinking he'll hear me. I was able to hear music, maybe that's the reason he's not able to hear me. At least It's better then thinking someone fucking him inside our house and that's keeping him busy from the opening the door. I took the keys out of my pocket and got in. I walked in. No one was at the sight but I was able to hear Jimin singing, I quickly removed the shoes and started walking inside. And there he was completely naked, swaying his hip on the song playing, singing in his melodious voice. He seems to be in his own world. His back was to me and he was wearing nothing. His shoulders, the smooth muscles of his back, the wide expanse of smooth, tan skin, was all exposed to the naked eye and I was blinded by the beauty of it. So much, it was a wonder I didn't throw myself at him yet. At that thought, he turned and gave me a view of his chest. At this view, arguably better than his back, I sucked in a breath then whispered to myself, "Oh my God". With that said, our eyes met. The way his curious eyes were chasing mine when I stood in front of him, I knew he could see the battle within me. "What are you doing here?" I closed my mouth, unsure how to answer, not prepared to lie. Not prepared to tell the truth. I scanned the house, no one seems to be here. The flood of relief ran down my body. My body relaxed. My mind and thoughts went blank. All I could see was Jimin. 'I……. I….." nothing came out of my mouth. I'm sure he could see the lust, anger, sorrow and longing in my eyes and every emotion I wanted to hide from him. He was frozen at one place, eyes still searching for answers.

The battle to myself and longing for impossible things was insane. Precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was in us; Love. The desire for what we could have been; Us. Regret over not being someone else; Taehyung. I'm not Taehyung, I'm not the one he loves. Even if Jimin had never said it, I saw it. And yes, I’ll admit, I am jealous. I’m jealous of every minute he spends with him, of every concerned expression he sends his way, of every tear shed, of every glance, every touch, and every thought. I want to rip him to pieces and purge him from his mind and from his heart. But I can’t. I kept repeating in my mind. These mean nothing, these feelings, longing. But they did. They were like sharp knives carving in my heart. Because even after so many years, I still loved him, the man standing in front of me. "Fuck everything, he's just mine and only mine. I'll make sure he never forgets that."  I thought.

Hey fam,

I wanted to write today, but then my friends made a sudden plan of parting and i had a good amount of alcohol. I'm still high so I wrote a small chapter. I'll write more but with a sober mind.

Stay healthy, stay strong.

I’m so grateful for all the kudos, comments and bookmark ✨