CHAPTER XL

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I heard the front door slam on his way out.

"Well since now that's over , round 2?" Dez said , kissing my neck again.
"Uht Uhn. Move." I said as I pushed him away.
"What you mad at me for?!" He asked.
"I'm not—"
I sighed.
"—I'm not mad at you .. I'm mad that I keep getting caught up with you. But it's not even your fault .. it all started with me not knowing how to keep my legs closed. I had a good nigga. A real good nigga that loved me .. and my sister. And I just .. I just lost him. I can't believe myself right now." I said , as I sat on the bed. 
"Soo .. now what? You gon sit here and cry over a nigga?? Tae since when we do that?" Dez said as he put his pants on.
"It's not about that .. your missing the principal. I loved that man and he loved me right until the moment he walked in here and seen you fucking me. How am I supposed to explain this shit to my sister?? She's old enough to understand shit like this now .. and I can't just keep bringing new niggas into her life every couple months." I said , putting my shorts on.

"I understand that but .. i'm still here. Bleu knows me and you know i'd never leave y'all high and dry like that." Dez said.
"Nigga this not about you! It's about me not knowing when to stop opening my godamn legs for you niggas .. every time you come over here , I open my legs for you .. , I get on my knees for you , I'm doing every sexual thing possible just to avoid the fact that I can't handle a grown relationship. I may be legal now but .. i'm still a little boy on the inside." I said.
"So .. what you wanna do now?" Dez asked as he put his shirt and belt back on.
"Dez I want you to leave ; and I think we should stop seeing each other .. for good." I said , scared of what he might say. 
"Yea um .. that's not happening." He said.
"Nigga what you mean?" I asked with a stink face.
"Wether you like it or not .. i'm not leaving you alone. The sex is too good. So either you give me what I want when I ask for it , or Ima take it." Dez said as he grabbed his phone.

"Nigga is you threatening to rape me?!" I asked.
"Take it how I said it .. be careful with me Tae." He said as he walked out.

I looked out the doorway and seen Bleu coming up the stairs.
She came in my room.

"TaeTae .." She said , playing with her fingers.
"Yes my love?" I said.
"Is MyMy coming back?" She asked.

"MyMy" is Bleu's nickname for Mylin.
I sighed and picked her up.
I laid back and laid her on my chest.

"Honestly .. I don't know babygirl. MyMy is really mad at me right now and I- I gotta fix it." I said , biting my lip.
"MyMy looked really mad when- when he left." Bleu said.
"I know .. and it's my fault okay? I don't want you to think that you did something that made MyMy upset .. I did it. It was my fault."

3 days later .. Saturday.. 11:37 AM.

I was sitting on Ki'moura's bed , holding Najhour.

I was sitting on Ki'moura's bed , holding Najhour

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This lil boy sleeps all damn day.
I was holding him while Ki'moura was in the shower.
Then I got a text from Mylin.

My heart immediately fell to my ass

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My heart immediately fell to my ass.
Me and Mylin were officially over and it was all my fault.
What am I gonna tell Bleu??
I'm so over this shit.
Ki'moura got out the shower and looked at me.

"What's wrong?" She asked.
"..Mylin is coming to drop off my house keys and I just- I just can't." I said as I started crying.
"Aww bestfriend it's okay.." Ki'moura said as she quickly thru on some house clothes and climbed on the bed.
She began rubbing my back.
"No .. its not okay. I just lost this nigga. He wasn't just any nigga .. he was THE nigga, he was mines. And now he hates me and there nothing I can do about all because I don't know how to close my legs."

Mylin texted me and said he was outside.
I passed Najhour to Ki'moura and went downstairs.
I opened the door and he was right there.

"H-Hi baby

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"H-Hi baby.." I said.
Mylin sighed and said "Hi my love .. take your key so I wont get in my feelings again." He said with a crack in his voice.
He was about to cry.
And so was I.
"What am supposed to tell Bleu?" I said with a tears falling from my eyes.
"I um- damn boy. Cmere." He said as he opened his arms.

I walked into his arms and put my head in his chest.
He hugged me tight while I cried.
He was crying too.
We were two hurt ass people but in our own ways.
Ima hurt person cause I seen both my parents take their last breaths.
He's hurt cause he seen the person he loved , getting loved on by someone else.

"Pop I didn't mean to hurt you .. I don't know why I did it , Pop you gotta forgive me." I cried.
"I forgive you baby , it's okay." He said as he grabbed my face and kissed my forehead.

That's sentence made me hug him tighter.

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