Jerrie One Shots - Fluff, Smut, Anything Really...

Soft

This might be triggering for some - tw self harm, death (not pez or jade), suicidal thoughts. If any of this triggers you, I recommend skipping this chapter, remember there is always help <3

"Jadore?" perrie walks into the bedroom, tapping through the dark hallway lit by a small lamp, searching for a smaller brunette, who she realised had been real quiet for the past 10 minutes.

Nine was a little early for Jade, but she had looked really tired today.

When no one replies, she looks under the bed and in the wardrobe, still finding nothing. A small hint of panic started to settle in her when she started to think of all the things the brunette could be up to, especially after the things she's been going through recently. She starts to pace around a lot faster, fear setting in when she spots the bathroom door locked.

'fuck jade you better be pissing.' she mutters under her breath, internally praying that her mind is completely wrong.

She knocks on the pale white door, her knuckles shaking by the frame as she calls out for the brunette.

"jadey? You ok in there?" Perrie says, as soft as she can in hopes jade won't get panicked.

She hears a hum, but its just as shaky as her, and the blonde closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"jade I'm coming in." she sighs, swallowing a lump that is beginning to grow in her throat.

"NO!" the brunette shouts from the other side. "I'm... Peeing!"

This causes the blonde even more panic, knowing the tone in Jade's voice is higher, she's lying. She twists the doorknob, at least it's unlocked. She hears a bunch of noise from behind the door and when she opens her eyes, the brunette is on the floor, looking up at her with guilty irises.

At first, nothing appears to be wrong, but perrie knows otherwise. She raises an eyebrow at the girl, foggy eyed. The smaller girl bites her bottom lip and shakes her head, blinking tears.

"jade, take your hands out from behind your back please." Perrie asks, secretly hoping she's playing a prank on me.

But she isnt.

She breathes a sigh and pulls her hands out from behind her, opening her fists to reveal two blades, layered with drops of fresh red. Without showing her panic, perrie takes them from her, throwing them in the sink. The small scratches they make as they glide along the surface, sending shivers down both the girl's spines.

She sits opposite the brunette, taking her hands and squeezing them. Both girls are silently crying, and perrie tries to comfort Jade, as well as comforting her own fears for what the girl has done.

"jade where?" she whispers, flinching when the girl lifts her skirt to show lines scattered like train tracks along the skin of her thigh. She wipes away her tears, focusing on the sound of jade sobbing.

"im- sorr- y - pez - it's - my fault. I got into - my-head again." she chokes out, looking away from the blonde's eyes.

Perrie hates the thought of jade hurting herself, but she couldn't let jade feel bad about it either. So, she pecks the girl on the lips, shaking her head, unable to say a word. She reaches behind to the drawer, which has a small first aid kit. She takes it out, dumping out a bunch of plasters, antiseptic wipes and other things.

Still holding the brunette in her left hand, perrie begins to clean over the cuts, the dots of red slowly fading. Jade leans her forehead into the taller girl's shoulder, letting her tears soak into her shirt, wincing at the sharp pain each swipe created.

When each cut was plastered over with a bandage, the girls shared a solemn kiss, guilt spread between them both. Perrie felt guilty that she hadn't gotten to the girl sooner, she knew the girl was gone for longer than usual. Jade felt guilty that she'd let herself fall back into the same path she'd taken before. She was so sure she could trust herself, but clearly not. She needed perrie.

"I'm sorry pez."

Everything stayed silent, the blonde unable to reply. She ached at the thought of jade, cutting herself apart. She just stood up, took jade's hand, and lead her to the bed.

She looked traumatized, and even Jade was on edge, afraid of what the blonde would say. They went under the covers and the lights were off. Nothing else said.

Jade didn't know whether to sleep, to cuddle perrie or to just lie there waiting for her to say something. She wondered whether the blonde was waiting for her to say something, but she'd stopped her from apologising each time she tried, no she assumed not.

The blonde sat up, staring into the distance, wide eyes covered in a layer of tears that threatened to escape. She wanted to be there for the brunette but if she was going to do this without even telling her she felt like doing it, she couldn't. Her mind kept going back to the scene, seeing the brunette pasted with an innocent guilt. To the blonde, jade was only raw to the world, anything could hurt her. Even herself.

Perrie felt like she wasn't good enough for the girl, if she kept going back to her old ways, then did that mean she wasn't doing her any good?

Jade couldn't take it, seeing the blonde empty because of her. She was tired, she wanted to sleep, but she couldn't if the girl she loved was up. It was her fault and she was now concerned about her. Perrie was there for her, so she should at least help her sleep.

"I'm sorry bubba. I promise I'll never do it again. I don't know what I was thinking." she loops an arm over the taller girl's body, but is pushed away.

"you didn't even tell me. You would've just let me continue on without me knowing. You promised you wouldn't do this alone jade." she says with gritted teeth.

"but perrie I promise, I swear I was going to tell you I felt like doing... It. But I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't even think I was going to. Something just overcame me. I couldn't stop." jade says, reaching for the blonde's shirt to keep her close.

This time perrie doesn't push her away, letting her lay on her." jade you need to tell me these things. I'm never, ever going to feel hurt if you just tell me. But you did it, and now I feel like it was deliberate that you didn't tell me. I need that communication jade. You know yourself jade, what happened before remember? You couldn't control yourself back then, you swore you'd tell me so I can HELP Jade. You need to let me in. "

" perrie I promise I'm letting you in now. I swear. I love you with everything and I'm sorry I hurt you. "

" don't apologise to me jade, apologise to your beautiful body. "perrie says, closing her eyes.

" I'm sorry. "she kisses perries collarbone and lets herself get comfortable against the girl.

" I love you jade. Never forget that ok? " the blonde whispers, holding the girl tight.

" I love you more my love. " jade says, finally able to relax into sleep.

" you couldnt possibly reach my love for you, mi amor."