Jerrie One Shots - Fluff, Smut, Anything Really...

JADEY HAS A CRUUUSSH

I HAD TO GET SMTH OUT AND THIS WAS IN MY BOOK DRAFTS??? I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WRITING THIS BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS PUBLISHED AT SOME POINT..

Jade's pov:

Suffocating. Constant suffocation. Imagine feeling nothing, then the entire world's weight gets placed on your shoulders. It's more than a burden.

But no one seems to notice. I keep my head down, smile when I have to, make silly jokes to distract people from the emptiness I feel inside. Maybe that's for the best. The less people that notice, the less chance of being interrogated and essentially more overwhelmed. No one understands anyways.

"hey, Jade what's with the grumpy face?" my dad says, lightly punching my shoulder, causing me to jump.

"I'm not grumpy." I sigh, walking off.

It would be better if he didn't say it as if I could change my emotions.

"don't walk away from me. I'm talking to you." I freeze, squeezing my hand into a fist to keep myself from panicking.

I don't like raised voices. Never have. Maybe it's something they've done over time. But it just seems to get worse and worse. The pit in my stomach seems to dig deeper.

"sorry." I mumble, almost whispering, turning around. My fingers automatically fumbling with the skin at the edges of my nails.

"why are you sad? Break up?" of course he has to make everything about love.

What next? Sexualise my outfit?

"no. I'm fine." I rush out, counting down in my head.

Jade it is fine. He isn't going to hurt you. Nothing here can hurt you. No one is going to shout at you, you've done nothing wrong.

"Well obviously you're not OK! Tell me or I'll take away your phone." he taps his foot, hands on hips.

My jaw clenches, wanting this moment to be over and done with.

"no I just... Woman things." I lie, making up something so he doesn't ask.

"ew, I didn't need to know." he grimaces then walks into his room and shutting the door.

I breathe out, watching my hands shake as I walk back to my room. I'm fine. I can cope. Just breathe.

I tell myself this but it never seems to work. Nothing works.

Then my phone buzzes.

'pez <3 has sent you a snap'

I smile, opening my snap to see half the screen filled with golden blonde hair, and a small smile in the corner.

I save the photo, loving the curve of her lips, the way it reassures me without even saying anything.

Pez: how are you Jadore?

Jade: I'm ok hbu?

Pez: I'm alr ty, you sure you're ok? Did you take your meds today?

Jade: ah I did earlier, thank you though. And yes, I'm ok

I feel bad about lying but out of all the people in the universe, Perrie is the one I want to keep safe from me. When I say me I mean the depressed, anxious, obsessive person I am. I can't afford to lose her.

Pez: good good, you free today?

Jade: well... Not really but they're working in half an hour so...

Pez: I'm on my way :)