The Seven Passengers (BTSxTitanic)

Chapter 23: Namjoon

It surprises me how much I enjoyed being outside. Over the years, I worked in the Daily Adviser's darkroom. For my time down there, I would think of endless stories for the column and forget it all the next day. At least back then I wasn't confined to my own cabin.

The butler standing outside my door, doing a horrible job at avoiding attention, is named Maurice. I have tried getting him to tell me more about him, but he won't budge. I don't bother asking if Seokjin is okay. I imagine he is surrounded by his henchmen all eager to see my neck split in two.

I still have no idea where Yoongi has run off to. I hope he's with Jimin, they seem to get along well. I honestly haven't seen him this interested in anyone since that one night he stepped out for a drink. I have yet to figure out what happened.

I raise my head when I hear voices speaking to each other.

"Father requests your service at once," a familiar voice says. His tone is urgent.

I listen to feet walk away and for a moment I wonder if they both have left. I wait anxiously on the bunk bed, my feet set on the floor ready to sprint as soon as the door opens. I can make it out if I have the element of surprise on my side.

Then the door opens slowly.

"Namjoon?"

"Seokjin," I say in surprise. My heart leaps inside my chest from the joy of seeing him again, as it always has from the first day we met, but reality catches up to me quickly. He shouldn't be down here if I'm accused of assault, even if I am quarantined because of his sealed lips.

I'm about to tell him to leave before Maurice comes back when he interrupts.

"I bought us time. I just needed to make sure you were okay," he pauses, "and I wanted to apologize."

I try to avert my eyes. His left cheek holds a splotchy purple bruise with cuts around his face. If I compared the picture I have of him and the man standing in front of me, I would say they are two different people.

Seokjin presses his lips together before finally saying, "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for causing a scene with Jungkook that landed you in here instead of walking around free, as you should be."

I watch him fight something inside. Whatever it is, he looks exhausted from dealing with it.

"Most of all," Seokjin says, "I'm sorry we ever met."

It shouldn't hurt me as much, but it does. "Why would you apologize for that?"

Seokjin doesn't meet my gaze. "I want you to throw away the picture you took of me."

"What?" My voice rises and it makes Seokjin jump. For a second I want to comfort him, but I'm focused on why he wants to erase our history. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. For the three nights aboard the Titanic, I stayed up thinking about him. I had no room for thoughts about journalism I spent all morning rereading the interview notes I jotted down.

"Please reconsider," I beg.

"I don't know what else to do," Seokjin buries his face in his hands. I've never seen him this overwhelmed before. The once charismatic and poise character has been replaced by an emotional mess; the difference is that this new Seokjin is real.

I touch his back and gently sweep him into a hug. Seokjin tenses, his shoulders upright and firm. I wonder when the last time he was genuinely hugged.

Seokjin fidgets in my arms before sighing. "Namjoon... I like this."

"I like this, too."

He shakes his head. "No, I like this a lot. I like being here...in your arms."

That makes me pause, but I don't let go until Seokjin raises his head to look at me. His eyes are full of worry and longing. Two emotions I identify with quite well when staring back.

"Namjoon, I come from a very traditional family. From a young age, I was told whom I should court and to whom I should show attention. I believed every rule until I saw you." Seokjin moves his hands to my forearms. "I have nothing to explain how I feel for you, but I have come to accept that you are different than the other relationships I have tried at. With you, I feel light and at ease with the rest of the world."

I feel my heart bang against my chest. His fingers are pressing into my arms like he's afraid I'm going to fade away.

I consider how long it has been since I've been touched like this. Before Seokjin, there was no one. There was no one that wanted me, and there was no one I wanted in return. It all changed when I saw him.

Seokjin hesitates. "I know it's wrong, but I care for you, Namjoon. It pains me to see you caged for nothing."

I stay quiet. I'm afraid if I say anything it will bring more shock. At this point, I'm not sure I can handle any more surprises.

"I'm going to set this right," Seokjin says confidently. "No more games. This time, I will do better. I will free you."

There's a spark in his eye that hooks my soul. I remember his stance when we first met, stoic. Now he's relaxed, somehow standing taller. I feel my cheeks swell as I smile.

There are only a couple of inches between us, and I see Seokjin realize this. Before he steps back, I catch his arm and pull him closer. He looks unsure, but he doesn't resist me.

"I believe in you," I say. I spread my arms out slowly. Seokjin pauses, then step forward and wrap his own arms around my back. He smells like the ocean.

We stay like this, perfectly still except for our breathing that has matched each other. I want to remember this moment forever. Then my eyes spot the camera lying on the dresser.

Before I can ask for it, we jump after hearing a rap at the door. Seokjin pulls away from me and stands stiffly. 

"Kim Seokjin, your father requests your presence at the Crystal Dining room," Maurice says as he opens the door an inch. He stands waiting for Seokjin, but his sharp eyes remain on me.

"Yes, I will be there," Seokjin assures him. Maurice leaves us and Seokjin takes a quick breath. "You won't be in here for long, I promise."

With the small smile he gives me, I hardly care about being locked up. Seokjin turns to leave when he suddenly stops in his tracks. I watch him freeze and I want to run in front of him.

Standing in the doorway with a cigar hanging out his mouth is Kim Nam-Jung.

"I suspected you two would be having a chat," he says amused. "Why don't we all have a discussion over dinner? Namjoon, your schedule is clear I assume?"

I give him no reaction even when my blood is boiling. "Yes, sir."

Kim Nam-Jung nods and ushers Seokjin to exit first. As he stands aside for me, I catch the glare he burns into me. The confidence I saw in Seokjin is gone, and so is my own.