𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 | Yuta Okkotsu x Reader

♡ 19 | What now?

Okkotsu stares at the bouquet that he clutches so tightly. His heart loudly beats against his eardrums. His emotions are confusing to him. Okkotsu's in complete disbelief that the childhood friend he's grown up with had developed feelings for him. For how long? How long has Y/N keep these emotions to herself? 

The girl played it off well for him to not have noticed. Or Okkotsu was simply blinded by his own relationship with Orimoto. But that thought only leads Okkotsu to thinking about Y/N's heart. Her heart must've ached at every sight when Okkotsu was with Orimoto. She stayed with them despite her emotions tearing apart. 

Which means Y/N valued their friendship more than her own feelings. The thought sounds so sad to Okkotsu. His chest tightens up as he feels the corner of his ears well up in tears. But he's pulled out of his inner conflict when a gust of wind begins to whip around him. Leaves begin to swirl around him and that's when Okkotsu looks over to Y/N. 

She wears a guilty expression, her eyes glossing over with her brows knitting together. The moment their eyes make contact, she hastily looks away. "Maybe I shouldn't have answered your question. Not if it makes you tear up like that Yuta." Y/N's voice is barely a whisper. 

The leaves that swirl around Okkotsu fly towards the direction she stares at. Okkotsu brushes his tears away with the back of his left hand. She's misunderstanding. Okkotsu clears his throat, his lips pursing tightly together. "Don't feel guilty for answering a question I asked Y/N. I just..." 

The words freeze in Okkotsu's throat. He grinds his teeth together and squeezes his eyes shut. "I just feel terrible for the things I've done to you without intentionally doing so. While I was with Rika...you stayed by our side as a good friend. I just don't know how you remained so strong doing so. Which is the reason why I started to cry." 

There's a long silence as neither one speaks up. Okkotsu can only focus on his breathing. His mind is a mess when he thinks on the next step. Now that he's aware of Y/N's feelings, what now? His heart isn't ready to fall in love. Not so soon. He's still traumatized with the things he's gone through with Orimoto. But what does that entail for Y/N and her emotions for him? 

"This foolish heart of mine..." Y/N begins to speak up. Her voice grabs Okkotsu's attention as he looks at her faraway eyes that stare out towards the sunset. She glances at Okkotsu from the corner of her eye before turning her face to look at him. "I don't understand why it's so hard for me to let you go Yuta." 

There's a light hearted giggle that falls from her lips. The sound sweet and painful. Okkotsu silently watches her flick her tears away with a crinkle to her nose. She inhales deeply before exhaling. "Maybe love does make people stupid." 

The girl slowly raises from her spot, patting the grass off of her. "If you're thinking about my feelings, don't ponder on the idea too much Yuta. I don't expect a response back. I know well enough that you're still recovering from your last relationship. I'm not selfish enough to throw myself onto you." 

Okkotsu raises his eyes up to see Y/N there with a tiny smile. She extends a hand to help Okkotsu up. Okkotsu can only remain still while staring at Y/N. She's unbelievably strong mentally. That part of her is admirable. Not wanting to leave her hanging, Okkotsu reaches over to grab onto her hand. 

The warmth in her palms radiate against his. Okkotsu softly thanks her before the two drop their hands back to their sides. Okkotsu still holds onto the bouquet Y/N had given to him earlier with his right hand. Y/N exhales loudly and stretches her arms up into the sky before grabbing the Rubik cube from the grass. She walks past Okkotsu as she messes with the cube in her hand. 

Okkotsu doesn't have the confidence to walk beside her. He stares at her back with soft eyes. Despite her words, he notices the drooping of her shoulders. Her body language is saying something else. It's obvious she's sad. 

"KELP!" Inumaki calls out to the two from up ahead. He waves at the two enthusiastically. Upon hearing Inumaki's voice, the two look over to the platinum blonde haired boy. Y/N calls out to Inumaki cheerfully as she hurries over to him. 

Okkotsu watches her go before lowering his eyes to the bouquet in his hand. Y/N told him to not worry about her feelings but how can he not? It's obvious he has to turn her feelings down or accept them. The last thing he wants to do is lead her on unintentionally. Squeezing his eyes for a moment, he inhales deeply. Not wanting to idle too long, Okkotsu hurries over to the two with a heavy heart and mind.