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aspen
my feet were stuck to the pavement, threading to go through those doors that i swore once i walked out of them i'd never walk back in.
my childhood home. what started the damn trauma.
i looked down at my phone seeing tahani blowing up my phone.
tahani: bruh tahani: where tf you at tahani: it's 5 in the morning tahani: i swear to god you better not be wit another bitch aspen!!
-i swear i'm not i just gotta get clarity on sumn, i'll explain when i get home
i put my phone on dnd and placed it in my pocket, i knew my mother was waiting for me i already called and told her i'd come.
i had to get clarity about that dream i had...i couldn't get it out my fuckin head.
every-time i closed my eyes...the same scene kept replaying.
soon enough i was infront of her door and i was dreading havin to actually knock.
i heard a ding noise making me realize i hit the doorbell, i heard footsteps to the door and recognized they were my mothers.
after all this years i still remember what they sound like.
"come in..." she said and i slowly made my way inside to the living room.
"you can sit, would you like something to drink-" i cut her off.
"i don't plan on being here long...i have to ask you something and i need you be completely honest wit me.... this one time i need you to help me get a fuckin understanding please." i practically begged.
for once i actually looked up at her,"yes...of course umm we have to make this quick unless you want to see him.." she said and once again a cold chill throughout my body.
"when i was younger...did i have a miscarriage?"
and just like the dream, she looked like she had seen a ghost.
"umm-"
"don't beat around the fuckin bush tell me what the fuck happened!!" i yelled, it was like my skin started getting hot.
for some reason this shit was making me mad as fuck, why the hell didn't i remember it clearly.
"okay aspen listen to me...yes when you were about 12...he um-"
"wait wait he didn't rape me till i was 16..." i said outloud and watched her eyes tear up.
the fuck you crying for?
"you don't remember aspen...you were so young...and i'm so sorry...he- im sorry he did it and i noticed you were throwing up and everything then he told me not to worry about it..it was simple stomach bug.
